IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affects teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #teenager’s #literacy #skills
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People deem that,
pervasive
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the pervasive
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use
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 of mobile phones leads to diminished attention spans, making reading, and writing a sustained challenge for
teenagers
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. I disagree with
this
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 notion
,
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apply
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 and believe that smartphones provide
acces
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access
 to
wide
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a wide
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 range of materials and educational apps, which could potentially enhance literacy skills, and,
also
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teenagers
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comunicate
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communicate
 with the rest of the
world
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at
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in
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 real time, offering them exposure to global languages and culture, which can enhance literacy and comprehension skills. With the presence of
internet
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the internet
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 anything can be learned for free, knowledge is no longer bound behind a paywall.
Teenagers
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 can
use
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 these immense resources available to them at their fingertips to broaden their horizons.
For Example
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, Khan Academy and Duolingo, offer
plethora
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a plethora
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 of resources for students to learn from, resources offered by the
World
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 Wide Web aren't just limited to educational apps,
instead
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, they can be used to supplement social media usage to enhance a teenager's communication.
Secondly
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, as
teenagers
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 continue to spend more and more time on their phones,
such
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 as browsing on social media or chatting with their friends. It provides an
excellet
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excellent
 outlet for them to communicate and understand the customs and cultures of
rest
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the rest
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 of the
world
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.
For example
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, Twitter a social media website, has millions of users from around the
world
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 talking about current affairs of their own country,
this
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 provides an excellent interface to understand other cultures. In conclusion,
pervasive
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the pervasive
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use
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 of
smart phones
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smartphones
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 is unlikely to diminish a teenager's ability to read or write, rather an appropriate
use
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 might give them exposure towards cultures and languages of various countries, at the same time,
use
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 of informative web applications and readily available reading material might
enhace
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enhance
 their
overall
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 comprehension.
Submitted by duttpavan on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout. Clearly state your position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion, making sure all paragraphs contribute to supporting your view. For better task achievement, include more examples and statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by focusing on a smooth flow of ideas. Use a variety of transitions to link sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to the essay's overall thesis, creating a more coherent structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pervasive
  • diminished
  • sustained
  • complex vocabulary
  • sentence structures
  • shorthand communication
  • adhere
  • standard rules
  • punctuation
  • educational apps
  • real-time communication
  • comprehension levels
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