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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
#information #consumer #items #five #countries
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The given chart demonstrates statistics about the sale of
five
Use synonyms
 various products or
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
, namely,
food
Use synonyms
/drinks/tobacco; clothing; leisure/
education
Use synonyms
 in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and
Turkey
Use synonyms
 for a one-year period. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 structure, it is obvious that the most preferred product was
food
Use synonyms
 by the huge proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in each country.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, clothing was less preferred compared to
food
Use synonyms
 consumables, but not less than leisure/
education
Use synonyms
 since it has the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 ratio of preference in all given
countries
Use synonyms
.
Food
Use synonyms
/Drinks/Tobacco has the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of consumption in all
five
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Turkey
Change preposition
with Turkey
show examples
 being the first with having 32.14% consumption
rate
Use synonyms
. After
Turkey
Use synonyms
, Ireland comes in second with 28.91%, Spain with 18.80%, Italy with 16.36% and in the
last
Linking Words
 place, Sweden with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimal
rate
Use synonyms
 of 15.77%. The national consumer expenditure for
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
/
education
Use synonyms
 section is 4.35% in
Turkey
Use synonyms
, which is higher than every other country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list.
Whereas
Linking Words
 a very small part of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in Spain has expenses over
education
Use synonyms
, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of 1.98%, the lowest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all
five
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
.
Clothing
Correct article usage
The clothing
show examples
/Footwear consumption
rate
Use synonyms
 is around
five
Use synonyms
 and seven
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in every country,
while
Linking Words
 the population in Italy has more fondness for clothing than the other
countries
Use synonyms
, which makes 9.00% in statistics.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words five, food, education, turkey, countries, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer spending
  • items
  • countries
  • comparison
  • overview
  • table
  • data
  • information
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • figures
  • categories
  • expenditure
  • purchases
  • spending habits
  • trends
  • average
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • pattern
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