IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information. So, teachers are no longer important in modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

#teachers #source #information #students #education
In the modern dynamic world, an increasing number of people assume that there is no demand for teachers as it used to be
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since
students
 can access a wide variety of
information
sources
. From my perspective, I completely oppose the given idea for a number of plausible reasons. ​First of all, I believe the
information
sources
 that
students
 can access are not always reliable. The main
information
 source is considered to be the World Wide Web,
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 these days.
This
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
 invention can be quite helpful in some cases, but the fact that almost everyone can add
information
 or make some amendments
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pre-existing
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 makes it unreliable. In
this
 case,
students
 are easily exposed to fake news,
misinformation
Correct word choice
and misinformation
show examples
 which can lead them to
completely
Correct article usage
the completely
show examples
 wrong direction in their studies. ​
Secondly
,
students
 are usually young, which means they are quite
unexperienced
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 separating false and right, choosing their lifepaths properly and what to take as a source
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their studies.
In other words
, almost all
students
 need
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra help
such
 as being directed on their studies. Say, a student came across
a false historical
Remove the article
false historical information
a piece of false historical information
show examples
information
while
 writing an important paper which would later help him get a scholarship. In
such
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
, a teacher would surely guide him to use safe
sources
 rather than unreliable ones. ​In conclusion, I am of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 that the guiding role of teachers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always essential for
students
 even though
information
sources
 are easily accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost everyone.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, including introduction, conclusion, and well-structured paragraphs.
Task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments, adding depth and persuasiveness to your essay.
Overall language proficiency
Regularly review grammar and vocabulary to enhance fluency and understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: