IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for your advice on whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why she will not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea suggest the type of job that would be suitable

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Dear Hazel, I hope you are well and thanks for considering my advice
while
Linking Words
 making the most important decision for
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 life. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to give you some suggestions for making
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
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. As I know, you recently finished your high school.
Therefore
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,my personal opinion is that you should try to get a job
for developing
Change preposition
to develop
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 your skills. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 academic subjects are not important for finding a job or
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 career.
Firstly
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, if you start working earlier, you will have a lot of experience.
Also
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, getting a job will
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
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 for your family. Because little financial support will ease your family's burden.
According to
Linking Words
 your interests and abilities, I think you should find marketing jobs because they allow you to meet with various people and learn a lot of skills like networking or finding
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 skills. I hope you make
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right decision soon. Yours sincerely Marjona.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The letter provides a clear structure with a suitable greeting, closing, and properly divided paragraphs. To enhance coherence, consider providing more specific examples or explanations to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Task Achievement
While you have addressed the task's prompt, increasing the depth of your argument regarding why you believe getting a job is a better option than college would enhance your task achievement score. Consider describing more about the value of work experience or how it aligns with your friend's goals or interests.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressures
  • financial burdens
  • tuition
  • student loans
  • uncertainty
  • work experience
  • earn money
  • practical skills
  • professional network
  • align with interests
  • growth opportunities
  • on-the-job training
  • apprenticeships
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