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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.

the graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.
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The line graph given showcases the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of tourist visits to a specific Island in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
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 throughout 7
years
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, from 2010 to 2017 in millions. Each line represents a place in which tourists stay. Clearly, there are more visitors who are staying on
island
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the island
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 than the visitors who are staying on cruise ships in the first 5
years
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. In 2010 and 2012, the
number
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 of tourists living on ships witnessed its lowest
number
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 which was a quarter of a
million
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. Following those
years
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, the numbers started rising. The amount ended up to be 2
million
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 in 2017. On the other side, the
number
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 of people staying on land in 2010 was a bit higher than the other
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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–
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
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 of a
million
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 which is around 0.75
million
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. After a bit of fluctuation, the
number
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 ceased to be 1.5
million
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.
Basically
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Basically,
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 it doubled throughout the 7
years
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 of time. The difference in the total
number
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 between 2010 and 2017 increased from 1
million
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 to 3.5
million
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 which is pretty impressive for an island in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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