IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event. Give them details of the event

#photos #photographer #event
Dear Mr. Thompson I am writing to convey my deepest appreciation for the stunning family photos you delivered to us recently.
That
Correct determiner usage
Those
show examples
 pictures are
memento
Correct article usage
a memento
show examples
 for our
descendant
Fix the agreement mistake
descendants
show examples
. We are hosting a green garden wedding anniversary celebration for my
garandparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison, on March 8th. It is a significant moment for us. Your expertise in capturing natural moments would be precious in making
this
 event memorable. May I request the
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of your availability on
this
 date, with several
package
Change to a plural noun
packages
show examples
? Please feel free to reach out Once again, thank you for
incredible
Correct article usage
the incredible
show examples
 photos you took of our family. Best regards, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme and develop it with specific details to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate transitional phrases to smoothly link paragraphs and ideas together, which will improve the logical flow of your letter.
task achievement
It's beneficial to reiterate your request or main point in the closing paragraph to reinforce the purpose of your letter and ensure task achievement.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'That pictures are memento...' should be 'Those pictures are mementos...' and 'garandparents' should be 'grandparents'). Correcting these will enhance the overall professionalism and readability of your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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