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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows how frequently people in USA are in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The bar chart below shows how frequently people in USA are in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
#bar #people #usa #food #restaurants
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The bar chart illustrates the
Correct your spelling
average
avarge
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average
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who eat fast
food
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Correct your spelling
between
betweent
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between
 2003 and 2013
Overall
Linking Words
. The highest
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
 was once a week
flowed
Verb problem
followed
show examples
 by once or twice a month others were under a quarter In 2003
.once
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once
 a week was nearly 30%
however
Linking Words
 in 2006 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who eat fast
food
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 increased to 33% and in 2013 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
decresase
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decreased
 by 6% Once or twice a month
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people
peolpe
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people
 who eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 was 30% in 2003 ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who eat fast
food
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 decreased by 5% in 2006 after that the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
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 who eat fast
food
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rose quickly to nearly 33% In 2003,
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several
serveral
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several
 times a week the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
Pepele
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people
 who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 fast
food
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 was around 17 %
however
Linking Words
people
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 eaten fast
food
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 by20 %in 2006 after that the
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numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
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 decreased rapidly to 15% In 2003, a few times a year the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
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 who eat fast
food
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
Correct your spelling
made
same
Correct article usage
the smae
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smae
Correct your spelling
same
in
Change preposition
as in
show examples
 2006 and 2013 but in 2003 the number decreased by 2% In 2003 ,the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
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 who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
in
Change preposition
as in
show examples
 2006 and 2013 but the
different
Replace the word
difference
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 was in 2003 ,
people
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 who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 every day was 3 %but
people
Use synonyms
wasn't
Change the verb form
weren't
show examples
 eating anything never about 5%
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, numper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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