Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private healthcare outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
countries
provide Use synonyms
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
health
Use synonyms
services
whilst other Use synonyms
countries
allow private organizations to run the medical service. In my Use synonyms
opinion
private healthcare has Add a comma
opinion,
drawbacks
than positive outcomes. Correct quantifier usage
more drawbacks
Therefore
, I Linking Words
beleive
that Correct your spelling
believe
disadvantages
of private medical Correct article usage
the disadvantages
services
outweigh the advantages. Use synonyms
Forthcoming
article will discuss the facts to prove my perspective.
On the one hand, Free Add an article
A forthcoming
health
care is provided in some Use synonyms
countries
including Canada. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
provide
individualsChange the verb form
provides
a
fulfilling life Add the preposition
with a
consequently
leading Linking Words
countries
to have strong economies. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
instance
if a certain nation Add a comma
instance,
focus
on Change the verb form
focuses
generaing
revenue through medical Correct your spelling
generating
services
residents might focus on migrating to other places in the world. Records show that Americans migrate to Canada to give birth because of the Use synonyms
afoordability
of Correct your spelling
affordability
health
Use synonyms
services
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, when the private sector dominates the medical field they tend to build a monopoly. They will control the price of the Linking Words
services
and medication. Private Use synonyms
health
service Use synonyms
providers
motive is to generate revenue.Change noun form
providers'
provider's
Hence
, there will be an upward trend for medical Linking Words
expences
and the prices will escalate rapidly making human lives harder. If a country wants to make profits on healthcare they can allow beauty medical Correct your spelling
expenses
services
to have private practice. But not for essential Use synonyms
services
. For Use synonyms
an
example Correct article usage
apply
theres
a trend among women travelling to Korea to get plastic surgeries performed. Correct your spelling
there's
there
This
generates income for Korea.
Linking Words
To sum up
, I Linking Words
beleive
that letting independent organizations Correct your spelling
believe
to
control the medical care industry is degrading the living standards of their residents. Change the verb form
apply
However
, Linking Words
countries
can allow certain areas of Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
services
to private practice in order to make profits.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Work on developing a clear, concise introduction that directly addresses the question, stating your opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea is thoroughly explained and supported with specific examples or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, transition words) and making the relationship between ideas clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine your conclusion to clearly summarize your argument and reiterate your stance on the topic, ensuring it is connected back to the introduction.