Older developments have less benefits to our society compared to latest technology development.

#developments #society #technology #development

Older developments have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

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benefits to our

society

compared to

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

development

Fix the agreement mistake

developments

show examples

. I highly agree with

this

notion, as many people had drawbacks lately from cutting-edge

technology

. In

this

fast-changing world, there are a lot of innovations coming from

technology

Correct article usage

the technology

show examples

area. These changes brought what

technology

can do in human life

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

ever.

Starting from

Verb problem

From

show examples

telephone, computer, smartphone, and artificial intelligence, made our daily tasks even easier, especially when it comes to

calculate

Wrong verb form

calculating

show examples

organize

Wrong verb form

organising

show examples

and

communicate

Wrong verb form

communicating

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, not only limited

for

Change preposition

show examples

work it

also

can help with our personal

diary

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diaries

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other

word

Fix the agreement mistake

words

show examples

society

gained a lot of benefits from

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

improvement from personal life to business. The cost of

technology

fast-development

Correct your spelling

development

show examples

however

had been

Wrong verb form

has

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impacted

lives

Correct article usage

the lives

show examples

of ordinary people in some areas. The manual labour progressively has been replaced by software and hardware developed by techies. For

instances

Fix the agreement mistake

instance

show examples

, some of the

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

currently

Add a missing verb

are currently

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already taken by

robot

Fix the agreement mistake

robots

show examples

and

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

in giant e-commerce companies like Amazon, Booking.com, TikTok Shop, etc. Manual tasks in conventional business

such

as sorting, labelling, printing, and wrapping are no longer needed, the tasks can be replaced with

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

This

phenomenons

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

silently making individuals lose their jobs. It is concerning for

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation because it will be hard for them to

catch-up

Correct your spelling

catch up

show examples

with

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

industry skill demand. In conclusion,

while

old development brought many positive impacts to our

society

, it

also

coming

Wrong verb form

comes

show examples

with drawbacks.

Society

needs to upgrade their skills in order to adapt to

this

digital era.

Submitted by riki on Sat Mar 02 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, make sure to explicitly address the topic throughout the essay, providing a balanced view if required by the question. Bringing in a wider range of examples and discussing both sides of the argument, even if you are agreeing with one, could strengthen your position.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. Also, consider developing a clearer paragraph structure that separates your ideas more distinctly, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

overall

In general, continue to develop your examples and provide deeper analysis of how they specifically relate to the question. This can include discussing potential counterarguments to your position and then refuting them, which shows critical thinking skills and a deeper engagement with the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Older developments have less benefits to our society compared to latest technology development.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?