Older developments have less benefits to our society compared to latest technology development.

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Older developments have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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benefits to our
society
compared to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
technology
Replace the word
technological
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development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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. I highly agree with
this
notion, as many people had drawbacks lately from cutting-edge
technology
. In
this
fast-changing world, there are a lot of innovations coming from
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
area. These changes brought what
technology
can do in human life
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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ever.
Starting from
Verb problem
From
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telephone, computer, smartphone, and artificial intelligence, made our daily tasks even easier, especially when it comes to
calculate
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calculating
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,
organize
Wrong verb form
organising
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and
communicate
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communicating
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, not only limited
for
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to
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work it
also
can help with our personal
diary
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diaries
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.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
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,
society
gained a lot of benefits from
technology
Replace the word
technological
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improvement from personal life to business. The cost of
technology
fast-development
Correct your spelling
development
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,
however
,
had been
Wrong verb form
has
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impacted
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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of ordinary people in some areas. The manual labour progressively has been replaced by software and hardware developed by techies. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, some of the
job
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jobs
show examples
currently
Add a missing verb
are currently
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already taken by
robot
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robots
show examples
and
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
in giant e-commerce companies like Amazon, Booking.com, TikTok Shop, etc. Manual tasks in conventional business
such
as sorting, labelling, printing, and wrapping are no longer needed, the tasks can be replaced with
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
.
This
phenomenons
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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silently making individuals lose their jobs. It is concerning for
older
Correct article usage
the older
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generation because it will be hard for them to
catch-up
Correct your spelling
catch up
show examples
with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
industry skill demand. In conclusion,
while
old development brought many positive impacts to our
society
, it
also
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
with drawbacks.
Society
needs to upgrade their skills in order to adapt to
this
digital era.
Submitted by riki on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, make sure to explicitly address the topic throughout the essay, providing a balanced view if required by the question. Bringing in a wider range of examples and discussing both sides of the argument, even if you are agreeing with one, could strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. Also, consider developing a clearer paragraph structure that separates your ideas more distinctly, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
overall
In general, continue to develop your examples and provide deeper analysis of how they specifically relate to the question. This can include discussing potential counterarguments to your position and then refuting them, which shows critical thinking skills and a deeper engagement with the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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