many people today choose to take part in extreme sports why do you think people want to do these sports? who do you thing should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?
In the modern era, most people like to experience dangerous and
high risk
sports at least once in their lives. There are lots of reasons that persuade individuals to do it like its thrill and extensive advertising. On the other side, these activities can bring some consequences to society which I'm going to explain more about in the rest of Add a hyphen
high-risk
this
essay.
To begin
with, some recreational corporations use different approaches to draw more customers. Bungee jumping, for example
, was forbidden about two decades ago because of its dangers but now it is one the most exciting and famous sports among the youth because of its thrill. New generations like to explore more about their surrounding world and experience evrything
at least Correct your spelling
everything
for
once. So, they usually try all dangerous Change preposition
apply
sport
in their Fix the agreement mistake
sports
younghoods
. Correct your spelling
youth
Additionally
, corporations usually use social media as a mean
of promotion to catch these kinds of activitiesFix the agreement mistake
means
on
. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, more people are enticed into doing it and experience some adrenaline.
On the other hand
, sometimes these hobbies can be turned into disasters which begins a controversy about who is responsible for that. In 2019, for example
, Thailand faced one such
of these difficulties when one of skydivers
could not open his parachute and it Add an article
the skydivers
lead
to a Wrong verb form
led
tragedic
death. Most companies have insurance policies which pay for any damage to clients. But some beginners do not collaborate with insurance Correct your spelling
tragic
instituitions
. Correct your spelling
institutions
Therefore
, they explain all conditions to individuals and sign contrancts
with them which make them responsible for any potential harm. On top of that, some companies Correct your spelling
contracts
nether
explain anything to people nor have insurance policies and I think the government should mark them as illegal jobs and close them.
Correct your spelling
neither
To conclude
, some exciting hobbies are getting
more prevalent among members of society. I think its reasons are advertising to stimulate the sense of thrill in the youth and hope these get safer than before to eliminate the need Verb problem
becoming
of
discussion about who pays for harm.Change preposition
for
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introductory paragraph but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main points. The body paragraphs somewhat follow the logical structure introduced, but the connection between the paragraphs, and the points within them, can be strengthened. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the ideas progress logically. Incorporating transitional phrases can also enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed the topic and provided some relevant examples (e.g., bungee jumping, the 2019 incident in Thailand); however, further elaboration and more specific examples would enrich your essay. For task achievement, aim to explore the reasons behind the popularity of extreme sports in more depth, and provide a more nuanced discussion on who should bear the financial responsibility for injuries. This will help create a more complete and comprehensive response to the prompts.