IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of moeny make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy?

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Introduction
We
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in deserve country. There are many
prople
Correct your spelling
people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 rich and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 are poor and
middile
Correct your spelling
middle
 class. To
begining
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, some
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 say that riched people
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
joy full
Correct word choice
joyful
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the middile
show examples
middile
Correct your spelling
middle
rang
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
. Why money can give
ous
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 heppiness both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of views and write in below paragraph.
Body paragraph 1
On the one side of
coin
Add an article
the coin
show examples
, There are many
socity's
Change noun form
social
show examples
 sports stars
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
show examples
person
Use synonyms
. They
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 happy and their children live
life
Use synonyms
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
joyfully
. Many
peole
Correct your spelling
people
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
enjoy-ment
Correct your spelling
enjoyment
such
Linking Words
 as going outside and going to
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 and many more.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 their children go to better
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. As a reason,
Correct article usage
a Politican
show examples
Politican
Correct your spelling
Politician
life
Use synonyms
 is better than
other
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 thing many rich
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
Use synonyms
life happy
Replace the word
live happily
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
empoyers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 lives their
life
Use synonyms
-style is
biffern
Correct your spelling
different
 to their
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other side of
coin
Add an article
the coin
show examples
, There are many
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 and Family
life
Use synonyms
 is
middile
Correct your spelling
middle
 class and poor But they
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 are
heppy
Use synonyms
 to
other rich
Change the wording
another rich person
other rich people
show examples
person
Use synonyms
.
Their
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 are always
Use synonyms
heppy
Correct your spelling
happy
 and
Use synonyms
alway
Correct your spelling
always happy
heppy
Use synonyms
. They do not believe that " money can buy
heppines
Correct your spelling
happiness
". They
Use synonyms
alway
Correct your spelling
always
 help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
person
Use synonyms
. For
Expalin
Correct your spelling
Explain
, Many children go to small
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 but they
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are alway
show examples
alway
Correct your spelling
always happy
heppy
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, Many
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full time because they give their
heppiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their family.
Conclusion
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, some man
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rich and some are not but they
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are alway
show examples
alway
Correct your spelling
always
Use synonyms
heppy
Correct your spelling
happy
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in that
wass
Correct your spelling
ways
.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on clearly stating your main ideas at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, then elaborate on this with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address both parts of the prompt in your response. Provide detailed examples and explanations to back up your points, making sure to connect these back to the question.
task achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is related to the essay question. Use examples that are directly relevant to the topic and the argument you are making.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and sentence structure to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider practicing writing simple, clear sentences before combining them into complex structures.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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