Sports is one of the most important draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sports on television is to blame for the poor health of young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#sports #television #people #practice #health #generation #activity

Sport

is extremely popular almost all over the world as it is one of the significant activities that can attract both adults and young

people

. It helps to improve physical abilities and

also

it allows

people

feel

Fix the infinitive

to feel

show examples

positive and energetic. But some

people

prefer just watching

sport

on TV because it is less time-consuming and it saves energy as well. I can feel okay if the spectators are adult

people

but when it comes to

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation I feel negative about it.

Young

Correct article usage

The young

show examples

generation should take part in active

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events and occasions,

thus

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

physical skills of themselves through

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

. I am

Submitted by ali_naz on Sat Mar 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay lacks an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic. Opening with a statement of your opinion assists the reader in understanding your perspective from the beginning.

task achievement

Including a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion in light of the evidence presented strengthens your argument. This was missing in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Develop your essay into cohesive paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the idea of each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples.

task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Refer to studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes to make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using transitional words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through your argument in a clearer manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

103 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some nations ,they have the option to import food fr all around the glob. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with a number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages