Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, while other people think that they should learn only a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Education plays an important role in a person’s life. There has been an ongoing debate on the current education system, especially regarding the choice of curriculum. Some argue that
students
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should enrol on multiple
subjects
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,
whereas
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others believe in focusing on the smaller scope of majors.
Both
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views are valid, and
this
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essay will explore the reasons for
both
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points,
as well as
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my own opinion.
According to
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my personal experience, the benefits for young teenagers to have numerous
subjects
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before entering tertiary education outweigh the drawbacks. One of the major advantages is that diverse
subjects
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provide children
an
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with an
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opportunity to explore new topics in different fields. By exposure to multiple
subjects
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,
students
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can gain
both
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diversified prerequisite theoretical
knowledge
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and hands-on experience.
As a result
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, student broaden their horizons,
as well as
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discover their hidden talents. Most importantly, based on
this
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recognition,
it
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apply
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significantly assists young teenagers
to figure
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in figuring
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out their potential life-long passion and future career decisions.
Hence
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, a result of improved academic performance
due to
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better self-discipline;
for instance
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, actively pursuing certain
knowledge
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and better in-class activities engagement. In summary,
such
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practice not only benefits the
students
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but
also
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favours the educational institutions.
On the other hand
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, there is only so much time to spend on studying. A limited number of
subjects
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to enrol may be a relief in
students
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’ and parents’ burdened shoulders.
Firstly
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, it allows
students
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to spend more time on each subject, rather than worrying about their choices and making attempts. A fixed curriculum usually provides a clear guideline for academic personnel in acing exams.
As a consequence
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,
students
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comprehend the
knowledge
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thoroughly. A solid foundation of primary
knowledge
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is
also
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a key to exploring one’s enthusiasm in
number
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a number
the number
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of aspects.
Secondly
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, it lowers the chance of undesirable outcomes occurring. Imaging taking courses without any background information and purely driven by one’s curiosity:
a
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the
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possibility of constantly failing to achieve the basic tasks may lead to a loss of interest in the middle of the semester, causing extra time and money to retake, or change
subject
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subjects
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. In conclusion, the essay proves that
both
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views are well-grounded with
number
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a number
the number
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of advantages. Yet, I truly believe that the best study outcome occurs with passion. Maybe in the near future, there will be no argument on which approach is better off than the other, but a novel method of combination of two, as it seems like each of them compensates for the flaws of the other.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should connect smoothly to the next with appropriate use of linking words and clear topic sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. The introduction should introduce the topic and outline your argument, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly and make sure your response covers all aspects of the prompt. Ensure your opinion is clear and presented early in the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully and provide comprehensive explanations for your arguments. This will help demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Use a range of relevant and specific examples to support your points. This enriches your essay and shows your ability to apply your knowledge in practical contexts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic education
  • cross-disciplinary
  • premature specialization
  • well-rounded personality
  • depth of knowledge
  • mastery
  • cognitive overload
  • expertise
  • academic achievements
  • tailored education
  • informed choices
  • specializations
  • adaptability
  • flexibility
  • foundational knowledge
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