Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, while other people think that they should learn only a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Education plays an important role in a person’s life. There has been an ongoing debate on the current education system, especially regarding the choice of curriculum. Some argue that

students

Use synonyms

should enrol on multiple

subjects

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

others believe in focusing on the smaller scope of majors.

Both

Use synonyms

views are valid, and

this

Linking Words

essay will explore the reasons for

both

Use synonyms

points,

as well as

Linking Words

my own opinion.

According to

Linking Words

my personal experience, the benefits for young teenagers to have numerous

subjects

Use synonyms

before entering tertiary education outweigh the drawbacks. One of the major advantages is that diverse

subjects

Use synonyms

provide children

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

opportunity to explore new topics in different fields. By exposure to multiple

subjects

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

can gain

both

Use synonyms

diversified prerequisite theoretical

knowledge

Use synonyms

and hands-on experience.

As a result

Linking Words

, student broaden their horizons,

as well as

Linking Words

discover their hidden talents. Most importantly, based on

this

Linking Words

recognition,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

significantly assists young teenagers

to figure

Change preposition

in figuring

show examples

out their potential life-long passion and future career decisions.

Hence

Linking Words

, a result of improved academic performance

due to

Linking Words

better self-discipline;

for instance

Linking Words

, actively pursuing certain

knowledge

Use synonyms

and better in-class activities engagement. In summary,

such

Linking Words

practice not only benefits the

students

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

favours the educational institutions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is only so much time to spend on studying. A limited number of

subjects

Use synonyms

to enrol may be a relief in

students

Use synonyms

’ and parents’ burdened shoulders.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it allows

students

Use synonyms

to spend more time on each subject, rather than worrying about their choices and making attempts. A fixed curriculum usually provides a clear guideline for academic personnel in acing exams.

As a consequence

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

comprehend the

knowledge

Use synonyms

thoroughly. A solid foundation of primary

knowledge

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

a key to exploring one’s enthusiasm in

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of aspects.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it lowers the chance of undesirable outcomes occurring. Imaging taking courses without any background information and purely driven by one’s curiosity:

Correct article usage

the

show examples

possibility of constantly failing to achieve the basic tasks may lead to a loss of interest in the middle of the semester, causing extra time and money to retake, or change

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

. In conclusion, the essay proves that

both

Use synonyms

views are well-grounded with

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of advantages. Yet, I truly believe that the best study outcome occurs with passion. Maybe in the near future, there will be no argument on which approach is better off than the other, but a novel method of combination of two, as it seems like each of them compensates for the flaws of the other.

kachuenho4783

Mar 2, 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should connect smoothly to the next with appropriate use of linking words and clear topic sentences.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. The introduction should introduce the topic and outline your argument, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Address the task directly and make sure your response covers all aspects of the prompt. Ensure your opinion is clear and presented early in the essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas fully and provide comprehensive explanations for your arguments. This will help demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Use a range of relevant and specific examples to support your points. This enriches your essay and shows your ability to apply your knowledge in practical contexts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

409 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic education
cross-disciplinary
premature specialization
well-rounded personality
depth of knowledge
mastery
cognitive overload
expertise
academic achievements
tailored education
informed choices
specializations
adaptability
flexibility
foundational knowledge

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Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, while other people think that they should learn only a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parents should be punished for the crimes of their children. To what extent do you agree?

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

International tourism has bought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment.

Nowadays more and more children are being brought up in single-parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.