Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
These days, there learn old culture but
is
some Correct subject-verb agreement
are
argue
that contemporary Correct pronoun usage
who argue
music
maight give
an inappropriate Wrong verb form
might have
effect
to
youth, and others think that contemporary Change preposition
on
music
have
advantages.
In Change the verb form
has
this
essay, I will discuss both opinion
and Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
expalin
why I believe modern Correct your spelling
explain
music
have
a good Change the verb form
has
effect
for
young people.
Change preposition
on
Firstly
, There is some opinion that modern music
can have a negative impact on the young because most of them have similar trend rithm. Recently, for instance
, there are many Idol groups on TV programs, and children tend to listen only that
kind of Change preposition
to that
music
. That is
why many yougster
only hear the same kind of Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
music
and they cannot have opportunities to listen other
Change preposition
to other
junra
or old Correct your spelling
junta
music
, and finally
it will Add a comma
finally,
leads
them Change the verb form
lead
ignoring
their own culture and national identity.
Change the verb form
to ignore
On the other hand
, some people think that recent music
have
a good Change the verb form
has
effect
for
Change preposition
on
youn
people because they could feel Correct your spelling
young
your
simpathy
which they Correct your spelling
sympathy
wold
not get from former Correct your spelling
would
music
. If the rithm
are similar, their lyrics Correct your spelling
item
are
always reflect Unnecessary verb
apply
the
each era. Remove the article
apply
For example
, some songs refer to SNS recently, but older song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
is
not. Verb problem
do
In addition
, I think it is important not onlyFix the infinitive
to
also
to build new cultures which fit to
the generation.
In Remove the preposition
apply
conclution
, there is Correct your spelling
conclusion
worse
Add an article
a worse
the worse
effect
which
Change preposition
in which
younger
would have lost their historical identities but totally, it has Correct article usage
the younger
positive
impact Add an article
a positive
for
Change preposition
on
young
to approach modern Correct article usage
the young
music
because they could listen to the songs as
their own situation and there is the potential of making.Change preposition
in
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Although your essay has these elements, making them more prominent and clear can enhance readability.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more completely in the body paragraphs. While you mention the impact of modern music on youth positively and negatively, providing more detailed examples and explanations can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'maight' instead of 'might', 'youn people' instead of 'young people', and 'simpathy' instead of 'sympathy' can detract from your credibility and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structure to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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