Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that residing in urban
areas
has greater advantages than rural Use synonyms
areas
. Use synonyms
This
essay completely disagrees with Linking Words
this
statement because living in urban Linking Words
areas
has more disadvantages, Use synonyms
such
as extreme pollution and excessive Linking Words
traffic
compared to rural Use synonyms
areas
.
The city has more job opportunities than the countryside, Use synonyms
however
, one of its drawbacks is pollution. The significant number of vehicles in cities has made the air extremely polluted. And inhaling Linking Words
this
can have detrimental effects on people's health. There is a high chance that they will acquire respiratory and heart disease. Linking Words
For instance
, most Linking Words
traffic
enforcers in Manila have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease because they are consistently exposed to the polluted air in the city. Use synonyms
Thus
, living in the city is not as advantageous as what others assume.
Linking Words
In addition
to that, Linking Words
traffic
congestion is one of the major problems in the cities. And Use synonyms
this
has a great impact Linking Words
in
a person's life. Because of Change preposition
on
this
, commuting to and from work can take up to hours. Linking Words
This
inconvenience consumes their time. The time Linking Words
that is
meant to be spent with family is wasted in Linking Words
traffic
. Use synonyms
For example
, people living in Metro Manila are spending two hours on the road in order to reach their workplace and another two hours in order to get home. Linking Words
This
problem can lead to a decrease in productivity.
In conclusion, people living in the metropolitan area can face problems, Linking Words
such
as air pollution and Linking Words
traffic
jam. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I believe that its disadvantages are higher compared to its advantages.Linking Words
Submitted by yoko.onerom on
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Task Achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear stance. However, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on the advantages of living in the countryside to strengthen the argument and provide a more balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by using paragraphing to clearly distinguish between different points. Additionally, linking words and phrases should be used more consistently to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Including specific, detailed examples to support each main point can greatly strengthen your arguments. Consider adding more data, statistics, or personal anecdotes to support your claims about the disadvantages of urban living.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit the introduction and conclusion to ensure they mirror each other more closely, reinforcing your main points and stance for a stronger, more cohesive argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?