In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

In many countries across the world, nutritionists have been alerting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society about the huge number of
children
with obesity. To understand the plight,
this
essay will point out some reasons which cause
such
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
health problem and will give possible solutions to diminish the impact of
this
crisis.
Food
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The food
show examples
industry, nowadays, works hard to sell products which are designed for kids. It is possible to see that packages are full of colour and bring
cartoon's
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cartoon
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characters to catch
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
of these little consumers.
Besides
that, kids are constantly assailed by advertising programs on TV, tablets and cellphones, which are created especially to make them desire the savoury snack or the sugary drink shown on it.
However
, these products are not thought to have nutritional value and provide health to kids. Many of them are rich in fat and sugar which causes bad impacts on
children
's health,
such
as high blood pressure,
diabets
Correct your spelling
diabetes
and obesity. Considering
this
, measures can be taken by the government to contain
this
scenario.
For example
, imposing guidelines concerning the usage of safe
percetange
Correct your spelling
percentage
of sodium, sugar and fat on products, regulating
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
to avoid the aggressive approach on
children
and providing clear information about nutritional components on the packages are some ways to deal with it.
In addition
, individuals have
also
their role in tackling
this
problem. Parents have to be aware of their
children
's food consumption.
To conclude
, I would say that obesity in infants
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a problem created by adults and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to be solved by them.
Thus
,
this
task force depends on government regulation,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
education and some sense from food companies to make our
children
healthy.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Expand the range of linking words used to improve the essay's flow. Introduce contrastive, consequential, and more complex connecting phrases to enhance readability and structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, try to sum up your arguments more concisely in the conclusion, directly relating them to your suggestions for solutions.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more detailed examples and statistics to support your arguments. This could include data on childhood obesity rates or studies on the effectiveness of government regulations.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. In your essay, ensure that both the causes and solutions of childhood obesity are equally developed and explored.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • balanced diet
  • fast food
  • sugary snacks
  • physical activity
  • nutrition education
  • health campaigns
  • public health initiatives
  • government regulations
  • home-cooked meals
  • extracurricular sports
  • digital entertainment
  • sedentary behavior
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