IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The table shows information about metro systems in six different cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The table shows information about metro systems in six different cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#information #metro #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
The table illustrates the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 underground
railway
 systems in six nations namely
London
, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.
As well as
 it depends on two aspects
such
 as
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 and
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 per year in millions.From 1863 to 2001. An
Overall
 perspective, the
London
railway
 system ran the highest kilometres of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
while
 Koyoto has the least travel. Tokyo
people
 travelled more than Kyoto. The
London
railway
 system was opened in 1863 and it travelled across the nation by 394
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
while
 775 passengers
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled by trains in
London
. In 1990,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Paris
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 service for their
people
 and it travelled in routes of 199
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
along with
 1191
people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled
Change the form of the verb
traveling
show examples
.
Then
 the next period of 1927, Tokyo, trains
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ran
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 199
kilometers
 and
1927
Change preposition
in 1927
show examples
 commuters travelled.
Furthermore
,
Washingdon
Correct your spelling
Washington
 DC
has opens
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
 in
railway
 system in 1976, 144
people
 travelled and 126
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of routes
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 travelled. In 1981, Koyto
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passengers
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
45 and
rains
Fix the agreement mistake
Rain
show examples
 travelled for just 11
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
then
 Kos angles had 28
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of
journey
Add an article
the journey
a journey
show examples
 and 50
people
 travelled in 2001.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, london, kilometers, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: