IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people believe that culture is all about the past, and the future is all about invention, there is
also
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 an argument
is
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going on not to follow traditional
methods
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 when a developed stage exists. I partly agree with the statement. Anyhow, we need to understand the fundamental state to develop any sort of
product
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 or service.
On the other hand
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, we
also
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 want to use the latest
methods
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 to save
time
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 and to improve the quality of
methods
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 and
service
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services
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. Starting from
disagreeing
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a disagreeing
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 point of view, I believe that we
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 supposed to ignore the previous steps of a developed
product
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 or service. Because, if any error occurs on the latest device,
then
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 we need to use the old methodology for the production process.
In addition
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, if we need to find an issue with new
technology
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,
then
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 we need to compare it with the old device. For example, most experts say that new gadgets are manufactured with the help of old
technology
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 by transferring some components to the new versions.
As a result
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, the
product
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 is sustained for a longer period.
On the other hand
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, I trust that do not follow outdated
methods
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 to finish a process because
,
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 it consumes a tremendous amount of
time
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 to complete a process.
Instead
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 of spending a longer amount of
time
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 in those ways, we could spend on other activities to improve productivity.
For example
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, most data
scientist
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scientists
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 found that because of the
technology
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 improvement, people's leisure
time
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 increased five times more than the previous generation. In conclusion, people can follow
the
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apply
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new ways to create a
product
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 or to increase productivity, but they should not forget about basic
methods
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. From my point of view, I suggest the public
to
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apply
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acquire basic knowledge of the device before handling a new
technology
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.

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Structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction could more effectively set the scope of the essay, and the conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion.
Organization
Organize your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have one main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations. There's a slight difficulty in discerning the main ideas of each paragraph.
Examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've provided general instances, more detailed examples could strengthen your case and make your argument more persuasive.
Linking
Work on essay coherence by creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Development
Develop your ideas more fully to meet the task response criteria. Each paragraph should explore its main idea in depth, with clear, comprehensive support and examples where relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • heritage
  • continuity
  • progress
  • innovative
  • cultures
  • societal advances
  • integration
  • cultural tapestry
  • ideologies
  • reconciled
  • evolved
  • adapted
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