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Band 6.5

Success is often measure by wealth and material belonging. Do you think wealth is best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #measure #wealth #person
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Success
 has long been synonymous with
wealth
 and material possessions in our society.
However
, a closer examination reveals that
this
 definition is narrow and limiting.
While
 financial prosperity certainly plays a role in measuring
success
, it cannot encapsulate the entirety of what it means to be successful. In
this
 essay, we will explore why
wealth
 alone is not the best measure of
success
 and what truly makes a
person
 successful.
Firstly
, it is essential to acknowledge that
wealth
 is often a byproduct of
success
 rather than its sole indicator.
While
 financial stability is undoubtedly important for a comfortable life, it does not guarantee
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 or happiness. Many individuals who have amassed great
wealth
 still struggle with personal and emotional challenges, indicating that
success
 extends beyond monetary achievements.
Furthermore
, defining
success
 solely in terms of
wealth
 perpetuates inequality and ignores other valuable contributions to society.
Success
 should encompass personal growth,
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact on others, and the pursuit of one's passions and values. A successful
person
 is someone who not only achieves their goals but
also
 uplifts those around them and leaves a meaningful legacy. Characteristics
such
 as resilience, determination, and empathy are crucial components of
success
. A successful
person
 demonstrates the ability to overcome obstacles, adapt to change, and persevere in the face of adversity. They possess a growth mindset, continuously seeking opportunities for self-improvement and learning.
Moreover
,
success
 is inherently subjective and varies from one individual to another. For some,
success
 may involve making a difference in their community,
while
 for others, it could mean achieving a work-life balance or pursuing creative
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
. It is essential to respect diverse interpretations of
success
 and not impose a one-size-fits-all definition based solely on financial metrics. In conclusion,
while
wealth
 and material belongings are often used as measures of
success
, they are not the best indicators of true
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and achievement.
Success
 encompasses a broader spectrum of personal growth, positive impact, and pursuit of values. A successful
person
 embodies resilience, determination, and empathy
while
 striving to make a meaningful difference in the world. By redefining
success
 beyond monetary
wealth
, we can cultivate a more inclusive and holistic understanding of human achievement.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more specific scenarios or personal stories to illustrate your points further. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your essay further. Using a wider range of transitions can help in making the progression of ideas smoother.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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