Now a days, the crime rate among young people is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done by parents, teacher and government to reduce it?
In
this
modernise epoch,juvenile delinquencies have been proliferating dramatically.Wrong doers
are always Correct your spelling
Wrongdoers
a
young rather than aged people.To solve Correct article usage
apply
this
turbulence,it is a
responsibility Correct article usage
the
to
their guardians Change preposition
of
as well as
their teachers.In this
essay,I will discuss reasons
behind it and their possible solutions.
Correct article usage
the reasons
Firstly
,parents
has
engaged in their job tasks to complete before deadlines and women have Change the verb form
have
also
pursued job
for Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
better
future of their offspring.Correct article usage
the better
As a result
,they don't have enough time lapses for their child.Secondly
,kids
facing
various challenges in their Wrong verb form
face
academics
courses and they want to share these with their Change the noun form
academic
parents
but they do not get much attention due to
lack of time.Thirdly
,juvenile
always feel comfortable with their peers to share their thoughts rather than their Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
parents
.Due to
above
reasons,Correct article usage
the above
bond
between them has become weak and they try to hunt for another environment which has been provided by their counterparts.Add an article
the bond
For instance
,bad habits like smoking and drinking are very often who
are Correct word choice
when
living
away from their home.
Wrong verb form
live
However
,there are plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
ways
to protect Change preposition
of ways
kids
from this
environment.Parents
should not be harsh and act as friends who are allowing
them to share little things of their Wrong verb form
allow
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
,nowadays modern parents
are providing flexible entertainment at home to avoid suicide cases and mental illnesses of their kids
.Furthermore
,teachers are also
offering care towards kids
rather than being stricts
as Correct your spelling
strict
compare
to past generations.Authorities are Wrong verb form
compared
also
proven to be beneficial by rendering child acts against child crime.
To sum up
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
,juvenile delinquency is controlled by equivalence
efforts of Correct article usage
the equivalence
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
,teachers and authorities in a responsible way.To break this
,each individual work
in a supportive way rather than being Fix the agreement mistake
works
harshed
to their children.Change the form of the verb
harsh
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on
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General
Work on your grammar and punctuation.
task achievement
While you have provided some reasons for the rise in juvenile delinquency, try to make your points clearer and more detailed.
coherence
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Include more linking words and make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction does a good job of setting the stage for the discussion.
supported main points
It is good that you provided specific examples, such as parents being busy with their jobs.