Now a days, the crime rate among young people is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done by parents, teacher and government to reduce it?

In
this
modernise epoch,juvenile delinquencies have been proliferating dramatically.
Wrong doers
Correct your spelling
Wrongdoers
show examples
are always
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young rather than aged people.To solve
this
turbulence,it is
a
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the
show examples
responsibility
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their guardians
as well as
their teachers.In
this
essay,I will discuss
reasons
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the reasons
show examples
behind it and their possible solutions.
Firstly
,
parents
has
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have
show examples
engaged in their job tasks to complete before deadlines and women have
also
pursued
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
for
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
future of their offspring.
As a result
,they don't have enough time lapses for their child.
Secondly
,
kids
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
various challenges in their
academics
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academic
show examples
courses and they want to share these with their
parents
but they do not get much attention
due to
lack of time.
Thirdly
,
juvenile
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juveniles
show examples
always feel comfortable with their peers to share their thoughts rather than their
parents
.
Due to
above
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the above
show examples
reasons,
bond
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the bond
show examples
between them has become weak and they try to hunt for another environment which has been provided by their counterparts.
For instance
,bad habits like smoking and drinking are very often
who
Correct word choice
when
show examples
are
living
Wrong verb form
live
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away from their home.
However
,there are
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
ways
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of ways
show examples
to protect
kids
from
this
environment.
Parents
should not be harsh and act as friends who
are allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
them to share little things of their
life
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lives
show examples
.
For example
,nowadays modern
parents
are providing flexible entertainment at home to avoid suicide cases and mental illnesses of their
kids
.
Furthermore
,teachers are
also
offering care towards
kids
rather than being
stricts
Correct your spelling
strict
as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to past generations.Authorities are
also
proven to be beneficial by rendering child acts against child crime.
To sum up
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apply
show examples
this
,juvenile delinquency is controlled by
equivalence
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the equivalence
show examples
efforts of
their
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apply
show examples
parents
,teachers and authorities in a responsible way.To break
this
,each individual
work
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works
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in a supportive way rather than being
harshed
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harsh
show examples
to their children.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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General
Work on your grammar and punctuation.
task achievement
While you have provided some reasons for the rise in juvenile delinquency, try to make your points clearer and more detailed.
coherence
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Include more linking words and make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction does a good job of setting the stage for the discussion.
supported main points
It is good that you provided specific examples, such as parents being busy with their jobs.

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