many people believe that family has the strongest influence on a child's development, while others believe that external factors such as televisions, friends and music play a big role. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many schools of thought discuss the biggest influence on
child's
upbringing concerns internal factors Correct article usage
a child's
such
as family. Linking Words
Whereas
others Linking Words
mantain
that the roles played by external sources like social circles, or streaming services Correct your spelling
maintain
such
as music or TV, influence their growth Linking Words
in
a larger Change preposition
on
escale
. In Correct your spelling
scale
escalate
this
Linking Words
essay
I will discuss both of these views, and state beforehand that the familial factor corresponds to the major influence Add a comma
essay,
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
a childs'
childs'
Change noun form
child's
development
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, the family environment is the first Linking Words
ambiance
faced by Change the spelling
ambience
children
. The behaviour and demeanor of Use synonyms
children
usually Use synonyms
mirrors
perfectly the Change the verb form
mirror
dynamics
of their family members. Use synonyms
This
first stage of Linking Words
development
is crucial for profiling role models and Use synonyms
internalize
social values and ethics Wrong verb form
internalising
tought
by their Correct your spelling
taught
parents
, Use synonyms
as well as
examples of conduct Linking Words
according to
their parental figures. Studies, conducted by VOX, proved that nine in ten Linking Words
children
reflected their family customs and manners in external places Use synonyms
such
as school or leisure groups and activities. Linking Words
In addition
, when asked about their future prospects, most of them pointed out their will to pursue similar paths as their Linking Words
parents
.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, external roles may steer Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
upbringing in a considerable way, still, it is not as remarkable contrasted with the one played by family. The input offered, Change noun form
children's
for example
, by television shows Linking Words
impact
certain stages or Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
aid
for circumstances in Fix the agreement mistake
aids
childrens'
demeanor or personality. Whether it could be Change noun form
children's
due to
the main character's personalities; certain Linking Words
dynamics
or responses represented by these Use synonyms
activites
, are likely absorbed by Correct your spelling
activities
children
, who could potentially mimic Use synonyms
such
. To illustrate, a social experiment conducted by the Primary Education department in Irvine, California, depicted the Linking Words
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
according
characters of their Add the preposition
according to
favorite
cartoons. Change the spelling
favourite
However
, Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
this
study, the remark that these Linking Words
programms
leave on Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
children
is temporaryUse synonyms
,
and could Remove the comma
apply
dissapear
as they grow in age.
Correct your spelling
disappear
Consequently
, as stated before, Linking Words
the
family interaction plays a paramount role in Correct article usage
apply
minors
upbringing. The framework of family Change noun form
minors'
minor's
dynamics
Use synonyms
on
the first stages of life could determine an entire Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
children
future. Recent studies made by the American Psychology UnionChange noun form
child's
,
concluded that most of the psychological responses and Remove the comma
apply
copying
mechanisms of adults were rooted and born in childhood events. Demonstrating the important and remarkable Correct your spelling
coping
responsability
of Correct your spelling
responsibility
parents
, for their Use synonyms
childrens'
rise and Change noun form
children's
development
.
In conclusion, the discussion of external factors Use synonyms
such
as social circles or television Linking Words
programms
, could affect Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
to
a minor scale than the family factor, which constitutes the foundation of a Change preposition
apply
child
Change noun form
child's
development
. Social interactions, personalityUse synonyms
Add the comma(s)
, as well as the nuances of children in general,
as well as
the nuances of Linking Words
children
in general are a direct reflection of parental education and role Use synonyms
modeling
at their respective homes. In order to build and understand society Change the spelling
modelling
dynamics
conveys Use synonyms
parents
' Use synonyms
responsability
for a Correct your spelling
responsibility
councius
and healthy Correct your spelling
conscious
council
councils
upbrining
, in order to create a better society.Correct your spelling
upbringing
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Introduction & Thesis Clarity
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Although you have introduced the topic well, strive for a more direct thesis statement that clearly states your position.
Coherence & Transitions
Enhance the coherence of your essay by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
Balanced Discussion
When discussing both views, aim to provide a more balanced treatment. Ensure you devote approximately equal discussion time and depth to each perspective before presenting your own opinion.
Specific Examples
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Language Accuracy
Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example