An increasing number of 18-year-olds are moving out of their parents' homes so they can live on their own after finishing high school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
In recent days, the rate that 18-year-olds are moving out from their parents
increases
after they graduate from high school to live on their own. There are many advantages and disadvantages of living on your own after graduating from high school. Wrong verb form
increased
For example
, the advantage of living on your own is that they can study on your own or bring friends to study together for university. However
, the disadvantage is that they do not have enough money to pay the rent.
First of all, the advantages of living by themselves are that they can get life skills by staying far away from their family and friends such
as getting communication skills by talking with others that they have never seen before and so on. They can get freedom by living on their own and they can concentrate on studying also
for rest. By living on their own they can get a chance to do many new things such
as working around the city.
Secondly
, the disadvantage of living by themselves is that they have to work in some place such
as supermarkets or convenience stores to earn money that they do not have enough money by moving out of their parents'
homes. When they live alone they always eat unhealthy foods Correct your spelling
parent's
such
as instant noodles and they can not eat healthy food that their mom cooks to be healthier. Living on their own causes mental damage too because when you live alone nobody is going to clean the room for them and this
means that they lose their energy when they are studying.
To sum up
, moving out from your parent's house and living by yourself after graduating high school have many advantages and disadvantages such
as they. can concentrate on studying but they will be unhealthy by eating unhealthy foods. In my opinion, living by themself is not a good idea they can be happy by staying with families or meeting with friends in their hometown.Submitted by dokmally2 on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an awareness of the task and a basic structure, but it lacks depth and detail in exploring the advantages and disadvantages. Consider offering more nuanced examples and exploring the implications of these examples more thoroughly to enhance your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains some logical structure, but it could be greatly improved by clearer transitions between ideas and a more cohesive overall structure. Work on your organizational skills to help the reader follow your arguments more easily. Additionally, be cautious about shifting between singular and plural pronouns ('they' and 'you') as it can confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and the ideas should be logically connected. Use linking words and transitions smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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