An increasing number of 18-year-olds are moving out of their parents' homes so they can live on their own after finishing high school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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In recent days, the rate that 18-year-olds are moving out from their parents

increases

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

after they graduate from high school to live on their own. There are many advantages and disadvantages of living on your own after graduating from high school.

For example

, the advantage of living on your own is that they can study on your own or bring friends to study together for university.

However

, the disadvantage is that they do not have enough money to pay the rent. First of all, the advantages of living by themselves are that they can get life skills by staying far away from their family and friends

such

as getting communication skills by talking with others that they have never seen before and so on. They can get freedom by living on their own and they can concentrate on studying

also

for rest. By living on their own they can get a chance to do many new things

such

as working around the city.

Secondly

, the disadvantage of living by themselves is that they have to work in some place

such

as supermarkets or convenience stores to earn money that they do not have enough money by moving out of their

parents'

Correct your spelling

parent's

show examples

homes. When they live alone they always eat unhealthy foods

such

as instant noodles and they can not eat healthy food that their mom cooks to be healthier. Living on their own causes mental damage too because when you live alone nobody is going to clean the room for them and

this

means that they lose their energy when they are studying.

To sum up

, moving out from your parent's house and living by yourself after graduating high school have many advantages and disadvantages

such

as they. can concentrate on studying but they will be unhealthy by eating unhealthy foods. In my opinion, living by themself is not a good idea they can be happy by staying with families or meeting with friends in their hometown.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Sun Mar 03 2024

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates an awareness of the task and a basic structure, but it lacks depth and detail in exploring the advantages and disadvantages. Consider offering more nuanced examples and exploring the implications of these examples more thoroughly to enhance your task response.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains some logical structure, but it could be greatly improved by clearer transitions between ideas and a more cohesive overall structure. Work on your organizational skills to help the reader follow your arguments more easily. Additionally, be cautious about shifting between singular and plural pronouns ('they' and 'you') as it can confuse readers.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and the ideas should be logically connected. Use linking words and transitions smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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An increasing number of 18-year-olds are moving out of their parents' homes so they can live on their own after finishing high school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualication. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?