IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society,
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
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 age expanded
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 reach to the field of motivational coaching, which
have
Change the verb form
has
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 increased in the
last
Linking Words
 years.
While
Linking Words
 many people advocate for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 virtual practices, others may not
coincide
Verb problem
agree
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 with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 point of view.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the former perspective
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since online coaching leans towards the interests of their creators rather than users,
as well as
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 the majority of these leaders do not provide
Correct article usage
a concret
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concret
Correct your spelling
concrete
 set of qualifications to review the veracity of their discourses. Motivational coaching has been an important beacon to prompt individuals for action,
however
Linking Words
, the practice of motivation seen and produced on social platforms is targeted towards a certain population, in order to exploit their necessities and offer malpractices that could be detrimental in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 near future.
For example
Linking Words
, many young people gather and foster the advice of online couches that market and sell their ideas in order to gain followers, rather than help and actually care for each individual.
This
Linking Words
 was shown by a recent study conducted by VOX,
were
Correct your spelling
where
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 several accounts of motivational couches on social platforms would use their videos to advertise certain products or courses, under the excuse of giving inspirational motivation to their followers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a vast majority of these influencers do not comply with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
minimal professional criteria for the knowledge they are actively discussing on their accounts.
For example
Linking Words
, many health motivational coaches, that would support and encourage specific lifestyles, are not even actual experts dedicated to the medical field, which could lead to the spreadhearing of
un-healthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
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 habits or practices.
Real life
Add a hyphen
Real-life
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 cases include trends on 'diets' or 'challenges' advertised by
such
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 'motivational couches'. These practices involved a plethora of non-recommended medical habits
such
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 as long periods of fasting, and the
consume
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consumption
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 of diet pills, risking actual lives.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though the offer of these modernised motivational coaches
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the past years, the practice and
advicement
Correct your spelling
advice
 given by them gravitate towards their individual
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 the credentials for giving
this
Linking Words
 kind of advice are not often
fullfilled
Correct your spelling
fulfilled
. Even though we are living in the midst of the digital era, a call to an ethical motivational practice could be more
fiting
Correct your spelling
fitting
 towards
enhacing
Correct your spelling
enhancing
 society.

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task achievement
Although you presented an opinion and supported it with examples, your essay occasionally lacks clarity and precision in conveying ideas. Work on refining your argument's focus and ensuring each paragraph supports a clear point related to the prompt.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured approach. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay's thesis, thus improving logical flow and organization.
coherence & cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between ideas, providing smoother transitions between paragraphs and sentences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual platforms
  • interactive sessions
  • personalized learning
  • multimedia resources
  • asynchronous communication
  • cost-efficient
  • impersonal
  • connectivity issues
  • hands-on experience
  • data protection
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