The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern society,
digital
age expanded Correct article usage
the digital
their
reach to the field of motivational coaching, which Correct pronoun usage
its
have
increased in the Change the verb form
has
last
years. While
many people advocate for this
virtual practices, others may not Correct determiner usage
these
coincide
with the Verb problem
agree
later
point of view. Correct your spelling
latter
This
essay agrees with the former perspective,
since online coaching leans towards the interests of their creators rather than users, Remove the comma
apply
as well as
the majority of these leaders do not provide Correct article usage
a concret
concret
set of qualifications to review the veracity of their discourses.
Motivational coaching has been an important beacon to prompt individuals for action, Correct your spelling
concrete
however
, the practice of motivation seen and produced on social platforms is targeted towards a certain population, in order to exploit their necessities and offer malpractices that could be detrimental in a
near future. Correct article usage
the
For example
, many young people gather and foster the advice of online couches that market and sell their ideas in order to gain followers, rather than help and actually care for each individual. This
was shown by a recent study conducted by VOX, were
several accounts of motivational couches on social platforms would use their videos to advertise certain products or courses, under the excuse of giving inspirational motivation to their followers.
Correct your spelling
where
Moreover
, a vast majority of these influencers do not comply with a
minimal professional criteria for the knowledge they are actively discussing on their accounts. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
For example
, many health motivational coaches, that would support and encourage specific lifestyles, are not even actual experts dedicated to the medical field, which could lead to the spreadhearing of un-healthy
habits or practices. Correct your spelling
unhealthy
Real life
cases include trends on 'diets' or 'challenges' advertised by Add a hyphen
Real-life
such
'motivational couches'. These practices involved a plethora of non-recommended medical habits such
as long periods of fasting, and the consume
of diet pills, risking actual lives.
Replace the word
consumption
To conclude
, even though the offer of these modernised motivational coaches had
Wrong verb form
has
a
Correct article usage
apply
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
on
the past years, the practice and Change preposition
in
advicement
given by them gravitate towards their individual Correct your spelling
advice
interest
, Fix the agreement mistake
interests
as well as
the credentials for giving this
kind of advice are not often fullfilled
. Even though we are living in the midst of the digital era, a call to an ethical motivational practice could be more Correct your spelling
fulfilled
fiting
towards Correct your spelling
fitting
enhacing
society.Correct your spelling
enhancing
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task achievement
Although you presented an opinion and supported it with examples, your essay occasionally lacks clarity and precision in conveying ideas. Work on refining your argument's focus and ensuring each paragraph supports a clear point related to the prompt.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured approach. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay's thesis, thus improving logical flow and organization.
coherence & cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between ideas, providing smoother transitions between paragraphs and sentences.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?