Nowadays, some buildings such as offices and school have open space design instead of seperate rooms. Why is it so? Do you think it is a positive development or negative?

It is a very popular trend
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of modern
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
replacing
Change the verb form
to replace
show examples
separate rooms with open spaces. Many schools and offices have implemented
this
design, and
that is
a development only for the good, because of the creation of much more
space
for people and more natural lightning.
This
essay will argue why those two are the main reasons for approving
this
mode. The remotion of separations inside buildings helps to make free
space
available.
This
is positive, because people who stay inside for long periods of time,
such
as students in schools and employees in offices, can stay in a less claustrophobic
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. As a matter of fact, being in a closed place for a relevant length of time can be quite frustrating and is related to higher levels of stress. Open areas can, and often have, wide windows in order to get more natural light inside.
This
is extremely good for the health of people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they can stop using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial ones, which are one of the causes of eye dizziness and headaches.
On the other hand
, sunlight is fundamental for the production of vitamin D,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is an essential chemical component for the human body. Nowadays, many facilities are adopting the open
space
design. It is widely discussed if
this
is a positive or negative change.
This
essay explained why having more free
space
available and large windows that can get more light in are the two arguments why
this
change is indeed a wonderful mode that has to be welcomed.
Submitted by giordansamuele on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Engage more directly with the second part of the question by discussing not just the positives, but also considering potential negatives of open space designs. This will strengthen your essay by providing a more balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly by dedicating separate paragraphs to each main point, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals what the paragraph will discuss.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, for instance, refer to studies or real-life examples that show the benefits of open space in reducing stress or the importance of natural light for health.
Task Achievement
Consider contrasting the arguments for open spaces with potential drawbacks, such as noise distractions or lack of privacy, to offer a more nuanced discussion

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: