Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?
The learning process in formal institutions could be done both in class and outside of it. It is believed that high school
students
often learn not only in school, but also
in other places like museums, zoo
, concerts, and even abroad. I believe that there are benefits and drawbacks regarding Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
this
, and this
essay will explain them.
First,
these visits can help the secondary students
acquire knowledge from different places, hence
it could broaden their perspective. Rather than studying from books, students
could get opportunities to observe real-life objects. Animal skeletons, for instance
, which are only available in museums, could help the students
picture both history and biology subjects better. Second,
giving live experience would enrich students
practical knowledge. Coming to the concert, Change noun form
students'
student's
for example
, can stimulate the student to perform better in music, since they could mimic and copy the performers' behaviour to create a positive ambience for the audience.
However
, this
event has its drawbacks. Undoubtedly, learning outside is economically inefficient as many expenses need to be covered. Although
there are special prices and discounts available, especially for the students
, many who come from low social economy
status can suffer as they need extra effort to save money. A concert in Indonesia, Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
for example
, can cost around IDR 300,000, which is one-fifth of Correct article usage
the
a minimum wages
in small cities. Correct the article-noun agreement
minimum wages
a minimum wage
Furthermore
, it is also
time inefficient because they need to travel back and forth to the destination. While
the students
may enjoy it, some others could be sick during the journey and accidents might also
occur, which is the reason this
should be given extra attention.
In conclusion, while
high school students
could get new knowledge and first-hand experiences through visitation, it is money and time-consuming. The safety of the students
should also
take
into account during the journey.Wrong verb form
be taken
Submitted by aldawinonaz on
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task achievement
To improve in task achievement, make sure to address both parts of the question equally. You’ve discussed advantages and disadvantages, but ensuring that your exploration of each is balanced will enhance your response.
coherence and cohesion
To achieve higher coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create a more cohesive flow and clearly signal the move from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. While some examples are given, developing them further or adding more can provide a clearer illustration of your arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.