IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
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For decades, most couples have been reluctant to have babies at younger ages
as a result
Linking Words
 there is a sharp decrease in the youth parents.
However
Linking Words
, what are the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 situation, and what are the drawbacks? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look at both sides and try to draw some conclusions. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation. These days both men and women are inclined to focus on their job-related burdens
as well as
Linking Words
 their university studies since it is difficult to take responsibility when you have children because of the huge amount of time which should be spent only on toddlers. As proven by statistics, four out of every eight spouses never consider having infants before becoming successful in their Professional fields.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, most young generations follow their goals, and
hence
Linking Words
, they start a family after quenching outstanding desires.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is known to everyone that rearing
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a demanding task which requires a large amount of patience and
this
Linking Words
 feature may be diminished when parents become older so they show less interest in spending time with their heirs. The result of a survey in Canada explored that most children who have Middle-aged procreators feel lonely in comparison with other kids.
As a result
Linking Words
, having infants in their forties has
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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negative impacts on offspring as we as couples,
hence
Linking Words
,
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
 less strong bonds among them. In conclusion, bringing up a child is an arduous burden at any age and demands a lot of
paying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
attention. Personally, in my opinion, people should ponder several times before starting a family of different ages as being a parent is the hardest duty in the whole life but it is well worth the effort.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt by explicitly stating if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your conclusion should clearly reflect your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help your writing to be more cohesive and coherent.
Task Achievement
Incorporate real-life examples or more specific evidence to support your main points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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