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Some people say that to get success university education is must, but others don’t believe so. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #success #university #education #don’t
Whether advanced
education
 will lead to
phenomenan
Correct your spelling
phenomenal
phenomenon
phenomena
 success or not is a subject of public debate and concern.
Although
 being in
Correct article usage
a university's
show examples
university's
Change noun form
university
show examples
 environment could
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inspirational motivation,
this
 factor is not indispensable to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 the goals in life. In
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 essay, I will argue that passing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational courses is not the only path
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 gaining
significants
Correct your spelling
significance
show examples
. On the one hand, there is a widely held view among people that
education
 would be the foundation of
bacoming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 successful. To clarify, most
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 hold the thought that there is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
organized planning in each study program in which students
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 find the door of
glden
Correct your spelling
golden
 opportunities in their career as soon as possible.
However
, all of them are not able to utilize
this
 chance on account of the fact that it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mostly depends on each
ones'
Change noun form
one's
show examples
 strive. A case in point, being
unemployeed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
, most graduates
are suffer
Change the verb form
are suffering
show examples
 from the lack of job
possitions
Correct your spelling
positions
 nowadays.
Hence
, upper
education
 is not the only pathway
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 achieving aims. Hard-working,
on the other hand
, has been believed to be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital factor in everyone's great achievements. Being reckless and confronting the risks,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful people have the tendency to plan for
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and come up with a program wich is
uniqe
Correct your spelling
unique
 from any
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
show examples
. Despite the importance of learning principles, having a hand in work is a chief reason that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 stay motivated in diverse situations. A
hard-worker
Correct your spelling
hard worker
show examples
 always
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a reach mind
as well as
 the fact that he knows by the end of the day the goods are waiting for him owing to his
attitudes
Fix the agreement mistake
attitude
show examples
such
 as ambition.
Therefore
, through
this
 essential people can face the challenges and overcome the barriers. To encapsulate,
Education
 is not the only importance of profound success,
nevertheless
, it is
hard-working
Correct word choice
hard
show examples
 which help
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stay active in
difficualties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
.
Moreover
, I argued how
this
factore
Correct your spelling
factor
factors
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to the golden doors of achievements.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, it is crucial to present clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the essay question. Making sure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that this idea is explicitly connected to the question can enhance clarity. Additionally, including more relevant and specific examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling. Consider using real-life cases or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clearer logical structure within your essay. This includes using transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. Make sure your introduction sets the stage for the discussion by presenting the topic and indicating your stance. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by evidence or examples, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces your main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paying attention to your language use and avoiding spelling errors or incorrect word choices will also improve the readability of your essay. Consider practicing precise vocabulary and grammar to articulate your thoughts more effectively. Engaging in extensive reading and writing practice can help you become more familiar with the conventions of academic writing, contributing to a more polished and cohesive essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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