IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The map illustrates the changes to the ground floor of a building from 1985 to the present.
Overall
, the most significant modification is that the
office
 facilities were changed for domestic purposes as the building was transformed into an apartment and
then
 repurposed a second time to serve as a flower shop. In terms of layout, only the kitchen remained unchanged over the years. On the left side, when the building functioned as an
office
, the meeting room and assistant’s
office
 were located in the top-left corner. In the period from 1985 to 2000, the
office
 was replaced by a living room and
then
subsequently
 a gift card and flower
area
 has been there from 2001 to the present.
Additionally
, the secretary’s
office
 and toilet from the
office
 were demolished to make way for a bathroom when the building was used as an apartment. Now, a small play
area
 has been constructed in
this
 place. On the right side, two bedrooms were added at the expense of the manager’s
office
 and the reception
area
 as the
office
 building was converted into an apartment. They were
then
 removed to allow for an
office
 and
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
 flower
area
 in the florist’s shop.
By contrast
, the kitchen is the only room that remained unchanged over all three iterations of the building’s ground floor.
Submitted by baonhi260804 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction effectively sets the context for the reader. While your introduction is good, it could be improved by providing a little more detail about the nature of the changes or hinting at the main trends.
Coherence & Cohesion
To score higher in Coherence and Cohesion, your essay should have a clearer overall organization. Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Furthermore, a brief conclusion summarizing the major changes can help round off your essay and bind the ideas together more cohesively.
Coherence & Cohesion
In your body paragraphs, while you detailed the changes well, aiming for more balance in discussing each transformation can enhance clarity and cohesion. Ensure each change is substantiated with clear examples or comparisons to strengthen the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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