Sending criminals to the prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that imprisoning gangland is not the most optimal solution in order to treat them, teaching and vocational training are more effective ways. I agree that it would be better to provide them with extra schooling and career training as it will help them gain basic skills
while
being punished and
delinquent
Fix the agreement mistake
delinquents
show examples
will be given chances to start a new life.
Firstly
, it is essential that learning and activity curriculums will have more positive effects than putting them into jail
due to
the fact that perpetrators will be provided knowledge and raised awareness. In confinement, where suspects will be completely isolated from the world, teaching and vocational coaching seem to be more practical for them as they will be able to work and study,
therefore
not losing their sense of working and lack of primary understanding. Another basic point to address is lawbreakers can rehabilitate easily after the punishment expires. Lawbreakers, especially juvenile ones, will be prepared with sufficient skills and manners to rejoin the community, seek employment and make acquaintances.
Therefore
, schooling and work training programmes are recommended to take in lieu of confining them in lockup.
Although
this
may be true, there are some advantages to putting criminals in prison. Imprisoning them means stricter possession and restriction,
thus
it could affect thoroughly the mindset and they will be docile and do what the police and jailers tell them.
However
,
this
option may accidentally leave permanent physical and mental breakdowns.
As a result
, convicts after being released may suffer body malfunction.
Instead
, activity coaching and teaching curriculums are more crucial as they change the thoughts radically without damage. All things considered, career orientation and studying programmes are more essential and highly advisable than putting criminals
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
jail.
Therefore
, they should be put into operation more and more to teach them more carefully and effectively
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a more structured approach to paragraphing. Each paragraph should clearly separate the main ideas, with cohesive devices to smoothly transition between points.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay addresses the main topic, including real-world examples or studies could enhance your argument's effectiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be mindful of repetition. Try to vary your language and synonyms more effectively to avoid repetitive phrases or ideas. This will make your essay more engaging and dynamic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Correctional facilities
  • Reformative justice
  • Social reentry
  • Ex-offender
  • Criminal justice system
  • Restorative practices
  • Penal system
  • Social marginalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: