More students should choose to do voluntary work during the long holidays rather than working for money. Discuss both views.

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In today's society, there is a controversy over whether
students
Use synonyms
should enrol in
volunteer
Use synonyms
campaigns or seek paid work on long holidays.
This
Linking Words
writer believes that
volunteer
Use synonyms
work enhances social
skills
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and builds empathy and patience,
although
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others argue that earning
money
Use synonyms
reduces the burden of living for
students
Use synonyms
.
This
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is vital to understand that participating in a
volunteer
Use synonyms
trip will enhance one's social
skills
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.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that
volunteer
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programs are often organized in groups to have the best effect.
As a result
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, each individual will have more opportunities to develop
skills
Use synonyms
in leadership and teamwork .
This
Linking Words
is the reason why
students
Use synonyms
should enrol on a
volunteer
Use synonyms
trip during their long holiday.
However
Linking Words
, some argue that working for
money
Use synonyms
should be considered first because it provides real-world
skills
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
gives them
money
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to pay for their course.
This
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belief is based on parents' fear that their son might be unemployed and not have enough
money
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to live in a city so they want their son to train in practical
skills
Use synonyms
for a long .
This
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might be true, but
also
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provides young people with various social knowledge
such
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as teamwork or leadership.
Moreover
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, volunteering will help people grow their personalities. It can be said that volunteering allows
students
Use synonyms
to have a wider view of society and gain life experience that paid work cannot provide.
As a result
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, participants will be more mature, thoughtful and patient. Because of
this
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,
students
Use synonyms
should be encouraged to participate in these activities. In conclusion, the benefits of volunteering outweigh the benefits of working for
money
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during long
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
.
Hence
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, both decisions can be made during the holidays if
students
Use synonyms
know how to schedule their time properly.
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Language Use
Introduce a broader range of vocabulary related to the topic. This will make your essay more appealing to the reader and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Try to balance the discussion of both views equally. While your essay presents a clear preference, ensuring both sides are equally discussed will further improve your task response score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences that give a forecast of what each paragraph will discuss. This will improve the logical flow and readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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