Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?
The majority of people think they are deserved an
enourmeous
wedding or birthday party as it happens once in a year or whole of life. Meanwhile, Correct your spelling
enormous
by
neglecting their invitation or Change preposition
apply
do
not paying attention to their luxuries Unnecessary verb
apply
seem
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
a
Change the article
an
effectieve
solution for Correct your spelling
effective
improvment
.
A number of Correct your spelling
improvement
Add an article
the folk
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
concerned
that a large Add a missing verb
are concerned
amout
of Correct your spelling
amount
budget
should be spent on Add an article
the budget
helding enourmous
Correct your spelling
holding enormous
wedding
or Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
bitrhday
ceremonies as they think that parties are Correct your spelling
birthday
helded
just once Correct your spelling
held
headed
in
a year or in Change preposition
apply
whole
life.Correct pronoun usage
their whole
Consequently
, they do
try to Verb problem
apply
lead
it as majestic as possible.Verb problem
make
Furthermore
, vast
majority of people are impressed by others and want to show their excellent financial situation. Add an article
the vast
In
Change preposition
As
result
, they try Correct article usage
a result
yo
invite many guests Correct your spelling
to
for
their celebrations and boast their Change preposition
to
properies
.
Correct your spelling
properties
This
issues
is an old trend that has been argued in every Change the noun form
issue
periods
.Change to a singular noun
period
Worringly
, it is getting popular among Correct your spelling
Worryingly
youngesters
more and more.Correct your spelling
youngsters
One
way that helps to diappearing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
appearing
this
matter is if some
Correct your spelling
someone
one
who has this
attitude invited, no one
would not go to the party. Moreover
, do not admire some
Correct your spelling
someone
one
with this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
is
Correct your spelling
in
an other
Correct your spelling
another
effectieve
way.
In conclusion, the majority of Correct your spelling
effective
pepole
claim that they shouldCorrect your spelling
people
hed
Correct your spelling
hold
Correct article usage
an enormeouse
enormeouse
wedding or birthday party Correct your spelling
enormous
for
impress Change preposition
to
other
and Fix the agreement mistake
others
thinking
those Wrong verb form
think
parities
happen just once Correct your spelling
parties
in
a year or in Change preposition
apply
whole
life. Correct pronoun usage
their whole
That is
an anciet
topic which Correct your spelling
ancient
engage
many families. Change the verb form
engages
However
, rejecting invitation
or Correct article usage
an invitation
admire
the host Wrong verb form
admiring
scarecely
can help to make Correct your spelling
scarcely
this
situation more reasonable.Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on
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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the topic but lacks depth in exploring the reasons behind excessive spending on weddings and birthdays, and offering meaningful solutions. Try to provide a clearer and more focused argument, with distinct paragraphs on why this phenomenon is happening, and another on specific actions that could improve the situation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay struggles with coherence and cohesion due to numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow. To improve, focus on constructing sentences correctly and using connectors to smoothly transition between ideas. An effective essay usually contains an introduction, body paragraphs with clear main points, and a conclusion which are all lacking in clarity in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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