The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been much debate going on whether the amount of money allocated to
space
programs would be more beneficial than spending it on schools or hospitals.
Although
spending money on public welfare is essential, at the same time
space
exploration is
also
crucial.
Firstly
, investing in
space
industries may lead to new discoveries and inventions. To illustrate,
due to
limited Earth capacity, people will eventually need a new place to live in.
For
this
reason, there is a need to find new ways to survive on other planets.
Consequently
, investing in various
space
projects not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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discover new extraterrestrial bodies but
also
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
out more about the planet we live on in order to prolong
life
Add an article
the life
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expectancy of the earth.
Secondly
, the research carried out in
space
might lead to brand new discoveries, which would prevent various diseases and lead to a better understanding of the phenomena
in
Change preposition
on
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our planet. Satellites are being used to detect solar storms, changes in temperatures or air pressure,
UV
Correct word choice
and UV
show examples
levels. These help scientists predict weather conditions and incoming potential dangers.
For example
, warnings about hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural disasters are often detected by satellites.
However
, governments should
also
ensure that citizens receive proper education and healthcare services. If there is a lack of infrastructure, many people
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
not be able to get the proper education or a good healthcare system.
Therefore
, the quality of life would exponentially degrade.
For instance
, many countries would experience a shortage of skilled employees and outbreaks of diseases, which leads to an increase
of
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in
show examples
expenses in these sectors.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. To improve task achievement, ensure that your arguments are more thoroughly developed. Expanding on how space exploration directly contrasts with spending on public services could enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas by connecting paragraphs and sentences more effectively. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To amplify coherence, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed, rather than introducing several ideas. Support each with relevant examples or further explanation, focusing on depth rather than breadth.
coherence cohesion
A stronger introduction and conclusion can significantly enhance your essay. Make your thesis statement in the introduction clearer and more specific. In your conclusion, summarise your main points and restate your position more definitively, ensuring it reflects the argument made in the body.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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