In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.
#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence
Modern world products and services put extra costs on families.
This
has led to many of
mothers Change preposition
apply
work
Wrong verb form
working
besides
their husbands for their Replace the word
beside
children
’s welfare. Although
some individuals hold the view that working of both
parents
may cause problems in children
upbringing, others believe Change noun form
children's
parents
can pay enough attention to their children
as well as
work
outside.
Some people argue that working of
Change preposition
for
both
parents
is not good for children
because of some important reasons. At first,
their children
may have not appropriate
upbringing. Correct article usage
an appropriate
Parents
don’t spend enough time
for
Change preposition
with
children
. Correct pronoun usage
their children
Thus
, they can’t educate
necessary Verb problem
teach
life
lessons. This
lack may direct children
to criminal activities. In addition
, children
may get moral sicknesses. It is because of
they feel Change preposition
apply
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
lone
without any support in necessary times. Loneness of Correct your spelling
alone
children
take
their self-confidence. Self-confidence shortage can affect their future Change the verb form
takes
life
.
However
, opponents are of the opinion that both
parents
can work
outside without any problem in
home. Change preposition
at
To begin
, they say parents
can adjust their daily hours to have enough time
for their children
. Mothers or both
parents
can work
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
. They also
can make an accurate daily plan for all family members to use their time
more effective
and Change the word
effectively
efficient
. Change the word
efficiently
Furthermore
, parents
can register necessary
courses which cover Change preposition
for necessary
children
’s educational needs to
Change preposition
in
both
life
and school skills. Occupied parents
have enough money to spend extra
Change preposition
on extra
courses
costs.
Change the noun form
course
To conclude
, though some people believe working
of Correct article usage
the working
both
parents
is not useful for children
, others don’t believe in it. In my opinion, working
of Correct article usage
the working
both
parents
is necessary if it doesn’t harm children
’s life
. My 2 Fix the agreement mistake
lives
years
child has extra costs which Fix the agreement mistake
year
make
my wife and I Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
work
together. Of course, his living will need more money in future. Providing necessary facilities and support for children
’s progress needs enough money. Anyway, I hope parents
can make balance
between Add an article
a balance
the balance
work
and family affairs.Submitted by writingbhos on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. It's crucial to develop your arguments more comprehensively and provide specific examples to support your points. Consider adding more detailed illustrations from real-life scenarios or statistical data to substantiate your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, furthermore, in addition) more effectively to link ideas across paragraphs. Also, consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, another important aspect is paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a clear topic sentence. Ensure that the subsequent sentences in the paragraph are directly related to the topic sentence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.