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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph bellow gives information about the visitors to Cardiff and Dublin from 2010 and 2020.

The graph bellow gives information about the visitors to Cardiff and Dublin from 2010 and 2020.
The given line graph compares the numbers the
number
Use synonyms
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 tourists who visit
Cardiff
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 and
Dublin
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 in 10 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited
Cardiff
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 was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level, but it declined steadily over the period shown.
However
Linking Words
,
Dublin
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 was less popular,
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
people
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 who went to
this
Linking Words
 place experienced
sharped
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sharply
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 remarkably after a negligible decrease. In 2011,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cardiff
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 was by far the most popular place among
people
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,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 4
million
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 visitors
While
Linking Words
 approximately 2
million
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 tourists went to
Dublin
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. In 2014, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited
Cardiff
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 declined rapidly,
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 2
million
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 and interestingly,
people
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liked
Verb problem
apply
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went to
Dublin
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 and its trend continued
went up
Verb problem
,
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reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 more than 2
million
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. In the following years, both places had some fluctuations and
then
Linking Words
Dublin
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 overtook significantly, at 4.5
million
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while
Linking Words
Cardiff
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’s visitors dropped steadily throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
, by 2
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cardiff, dublin, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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