For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #holiday #hotel #countryside #home #time #holidays

this

recent world, many people can afford

going

Change the verb form

to go

show examples

on vacation to

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

. Some people prefer to

staying

Change the verb

stay

show examples

at home to do something they want. I

belives

Verb problem

believe

show examples

going away on

holidays

Fix the agreement mistake

holiday

show examples

can offer several benefits. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will discuss the benefits of going away on

holidays

Fix the agreement mistake

holiday

show examples

Firstly

, going away from daily routine can provide

mental

Add an article

a mental

show examples

and emotional break.

This

will help

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

to become relax, recharge and

rejuavente

Correct your spelling

rejuvenate

away from

stress

Correct article usage

the stress

show examples

and

responsibility

Correct article usage

the responsibility

show examples

of everyday

life

Furthermore

, travel to new

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

can help

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

expose

Replace the word

exposure

show examples

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Correct word choice

and cuisine

show examples

cuisine

Fix the agreement mistake

cuisines

show examples

and away from

life

Hence

this

will help individual growth,

Correct word choice

and expend

show examples

expend

Correct your spelling

expand

show examples

one of understanding people from divine background.

Neverthenless

Correct your spelling

Nevertheless

, going

holidays

Change preposition

on holidays

show examples

can help

growth

Replace the word

grow

show examples

quality time with

love

Change the form of the verb

loved

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

For example

, going

holiday

Change preposition

on holiday

show examples

with

Correct article usage

a love

show examples

love

Change the form of the verb

loved

show examples

one can help

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

create

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

beautiful memories and

also

help relationship

bound

Correct your spelling

bond

show examples

become

strongers

Correct your spelling

stronger

strangers

. Going away on

holidays

also

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

help

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

reduce

stress

In other words

bring

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

to the new

enviroment

Correct your spelling

environment

can help reduce

stress

levels and promotes

relaxtions

Correct your spelling

relaxation

relaxations

Wheather

Correct your spelling

Whether

show examples

explore

Wrong verb form

exploring

show examples

a new

landscaple

Correct your spelling

landscape

and

Correct word choice

show examples

outdoor activities,

holidays

can lead to

self care

Add a hyphen

self-care

show examples

and mental relaxation. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

weather

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

travel

Correct your spelling

travelling

show examples

to the countryside or staying at home doing something you love can help

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

less

stress

provide

Correct word choice

and provide

show examples

mental and

emotion

Replace the word

emotional

show examples

break

Fix the agreement mistake

breaks

show examples

. Going away from daily

life

importants

Correct your spelling

important

and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

you

running

Wrong verb form

run

show examples

away from

daily

Correct article usage

the daily

show examples

stress

and

responsibility

Correct article usage

the responsibility

show examples

of everyday

life

Submitted by teresa1411tt on Sun Mar 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on carefully structuring your essay with a clear introduction, coherent paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas logically flow from one to the next.

Task Achievement

Further develop your main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples. Your argument will be stronger if you provide clearer examples from personal experience or observed facts.

Language Proficiency

Pay attention to your spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve overall clarity and professionalism in your writing. Consider using tools or seeking feedback to identify and correct errors.

Lexical Resource

Expand your vocabulary related to the topic and strive for variety in your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to better demonstrate your language skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perspective
foster
broaden
creativity
well-being
memories
disconnecting
presence
educational
adventure
stress-reduction
quality time
outdoor activities
digital detox
historical insights

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