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Band 3.5

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extebt do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #opportunity #show #world #qualities #nation #expense #extebt
Some people think that international champion sports are
unjustifiable
Correct article usage
an unjustifiable
show examples
 expenditure of the hosting
country
.
Besides
, others think
this
 can be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good chance to perform qualities of the hosting
country
. In
this
 following essay, I will elaborate
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
 I agree with the latest statement.
Change preposition
Holding
show examples
By holding
Change preposition
Holding
show examples
 international events, especially a
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
turnament
Correct your spelling
tournament
 which has
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 biggest
devotee
Fix the agreement mistake
number of devotees
show examples
 will provide many benefits for
Correct article usage
the hosting
show examples
hosting
Correct article usage
the hosting
show examples
country
. It is not only providing happiness
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their fans, but
also
 can
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
 the hosting
country
 a chance to show their home culture to the world, and
as a result
, it
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 the economy of the hosting
country
.
For example
, before the
event
Add a comma
event,
show examples
 many
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 will explore and visit the local area and eventually,
this
 is the time they can see the local culture and society, so
then
 they may have a plan to
visiting
Change the form of the verb
visit
show examples
this
country
 in the future.
Additionally
, being a host
country
 can
also
 increase the economy of the
country
 from tourist
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
, food and beverage and
also
 souvenirs.
Consequently
,
this
 can profit
host
Correct article usage
the host
show examples
country
. On the other side, these events are mainly a large unjustifiable cost.
For instance
, it will create massive developments for supporting the event which may not constantly
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 by the local people in the future. In conclusion, International
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 events should be
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 movement of the hosting
country
 without unjustifiable expenditure.
Submitted by NIPEACENE on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion. This makes your argument more comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Generic statements are less persuasive than those backed by real-world evidence or detailed scenarios.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a separate idea. Begin with a topic sentence to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to link your points clearly to the main argument of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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