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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

#popularity #education #years #development
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Over the
last
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 few years, online
education
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 has
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 importance in the level,
such
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 as the popularity in some countries.
While
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 some people strongly support the opinion that
this
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 is
benefit
Add an article
a benefit
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 for
children
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 there are other people who think that it is
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
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 impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 young generations. In
this
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 essay, l will discuss both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 of
this
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 and draw a conclusion. On the one hand, online
education
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
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 very significant,
convenient
Correct word choice
and convenient
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 for
children
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 and
also
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 it is possible quality
education
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 for students.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that,
this
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 course a little cheaper and quality are should than other
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 communication or lessons.
That is
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, students can see repeat topics in the online
education
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. From my personal point of view, all individuals have been seeing lessons
their
Change preposition
in their
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 free time, at home and
other
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in other
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 places.
That is
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, they do homework anywhere.
For example
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,
Outskirt
Correct article usage
the Outskirt
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 population can not go to long places for
education
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 every day
as well as
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 inconvenience.
As a result
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, they
uses
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use
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from
Change preposition
apply
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quality amenities,
cheaper
Correct word choice
and cheaper
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education
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 and
this
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the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 best way of
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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.
On the other hand
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, other people argue that pupils can not enough study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
education
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 because they do not want to study
new
Add an article
a new
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 language and new skills. Teachers do not over the control
their
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of their
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 users.
Consequently
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, pupils and crazy
children
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are not find
Change the verb form
do not find
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in the future by
waste
Replace the word
wasting
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 time.
For instance
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,
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 person do not homework
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time because they believe that teachers are not shouting for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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do
Fix the infinitive
to do
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 homework. In short, online
education
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has
Verb problem
does
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 not control
children
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. In conclusion, online
education
Use synonyms
 has grown significantly in recent years and
this
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 situation is
open
Wrong verb form
opening
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 doors
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to opportunity
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opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 for all individuals. I believe that online
education
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 will bring
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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 opportunities
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
Start by clearly stating your stance on the topic in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Try to use real-life scenarios or hypothetical situations that directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages of online education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure coherence by logically organizing your ideas. Start paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, follow with supporting details, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main idea or links to the next paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and accurately. Avoid repetition by expanding your range of vocabulary.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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