IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

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As compared with the
last
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 three decades, it is true that there is a quick increase in car owners causing traffic jams in urban areas. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 various reason which perfectly stands with
this
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approch
Correct your spelling
approach
 and a variety of measures the government should implement to overcome
this
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 situation. My own view regarding these matters is that people buy a car to showcase their financial status in society which ends up in buying multiple cars for each particular member of the family. There are multiple reasons that I can describe but the main reason that makes
this
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 statement supportive is that increasing figures in motor cars make a high impact on the environment and which release carbon dioxide, causing noise pollution
as well as
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 air pollution.
For instance
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, humans breathing in these cities frequently have serious problems like asthma and skin diseases. So, some group of people prefers to live in rural areas with nature. I would like to highlight some of the key aspects that the government should look forward to .
Firstly
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, the government should promote their public services like underground trains and buses
as well as
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 make them convenient
to
Change preposition
for
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 people.
Secondly
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, companies or firms should encourage their employees to travel with ride-sharing where an employee can pick three other employees from nearby areas which may
also
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 result in fewer jams. To give a clear view, large cities like Toronto have separate lanes for citizens where they can drive if there are more than two passengers commuting. In conclusion, it is clear cristal that the number of cars is rising and can affect the future generation but on the other side, there are some important solutions that can help us to recover from
this
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 situation.

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task achievement
To improve task response, try to delve deeper into the reasons behind increased car ownership. Address aspects like urbanization, lifestyle changes, and public transportation inadequacies.
task achievement
Enhance clarity and comprehensiveness by ensuring that each of your main points is clearly elaborated. For example, you mention multiple reasons for car purchases but don't explore them fully.
task achievement
Use more specific and diverse examples to illustrate your points. Current examples like Toronto are good, but adding more can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on the flow and coherence of your essay by consistently using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas logically. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'However,' and 'On the other hand' can help.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion by summarizing key points more effectively. Ensure it reinforces the arguments you've made throughout your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively identified and addressed the two key questions asked in the prompt, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a clear starting and ending point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes several good points and examples, such as the mention of Toronto's traffic lanes. These help illustrate your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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