Nowadays, more and more people are purchasing online instead of physically going to stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the
last
few years, the most popular are buying online instead
of physically going to shops. While
some people
strongly support the opinion that this
is benefit
for young Replace the word
beneficial
people
, there are other people
who think that it is
Verb problem
has
negative
impact Add an article
a negative
the negative
to
Change preposition
on
health
of Add an article
the health
people
. In this
essay, l will discuss both positive
and negative Correct article usage
the positive
side
of Fix the agreement mistake
sides
this
and draw a conclusion
On the one hand, some people
argue that it is being increasingly purchase
online Change the verb form
being increasingly purchased
products
in some countries because they think this
condition is very benefits
for of Replace the word
beneficial
population
time and work. Individuals Change noun form
population's
has
a lot of opportunities because humans are possible anywhere and sometimes they are not buying Change the verb form
have
products
from long
Add an article
a long
way
. Correct your spelling
away
Beside
that, online stores might Replace the word
Besides
cheaper
than other places. Add a missing verb
be cheaper
As a result
, people
do not spend time for buy
goods. Wrong verb form
buying
For example
, everyone
city uses and Correct your spelling
every
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
this
is the best way for purchasing products
. There are some discounts that is
, if you buy a lot
Add the preposition
lot of
products
in online stores, you will have to some discounts so all people
want to use from
it.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, other people
argue that Individuals do not choose to their
suit anything. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Consequently
, they bought products
might
be unquality or poor goods. Correct pronoun usage
that might
Beside
that, it is Replace the word
Besides
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
going
to Change the verb form
to go
stores
of some humans and all Correct article usage
the stores
products
might dislike to
Change preposition
by
everyone
person. Replace the word
every one
For instance
, older people
do not know uses
Correct article usage
the uses
from
Change preposition
of
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
also
always do not quality goods bring
from Verb problem
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
such
it is not delivered faster. I think purchasing online do
not Change the verb form
does
development
in some countries.
In conclusion, Replace the word
develop
while
purchasing online can offer several positive
, there may be some drawbacks too. From my personal point of view, Fix the agreement mistake
positives
advantages
of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
will outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clearer logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are logically ordered throughout the essay. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
To better achieve the task, ensure you respond completely to all parts of the question. Develop your arguments fully by presenting clear, comprehensive ideas, and support these with specific examples where possible. This will help demonstrate your understanding and provide a more persuasive argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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