You have a just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write letter to your friend. In the letter: Give details about the concert Describe how you won the tickets Explain why you've chosen your friend to go with you
Dear Adrianna Adrian
How are you? Hope you are happy and enjoying your new job. I am writing
this
letter to invite you a
Change preposition
to a
concert
that, I really want to go with
you.
First of all, I will give you some information for you to understand better. Change preposition
to with
This
concert
happens once in 4 years on 29th February. Famous singers from all over the world come to the concert
. Not only famous singers, but also
famous actors and actress
. Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
In addition
to this
, they also
allow you to take pictures with them.
Furthermore
, if you are wondering how I won the tickets, I will tell you without further
ado. Our boss organized a competition in our office. Gave all workers the same task and insisted that, whoever finishes
it first Wrong verb form
finished
will
get a ticket to the Wrong verb form
would
concert
. I won the competition. For
this
reason, I am inviting you to the concert
. After all, you are the reason that,
I work in Remove the comma
apply
this
job.
The reason for my offer is that,
I have not seen you for a long time. I miss the times we spent together.
Remove the comma
apply
Finally
, Hopefully, I would love it if you could come to a concert
.
Best wishes,
ShaxrizodaSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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greeting and closing
The greeting is a bit informal and unusual ('Dear Adrianna Adrian'), consider a simpler and more typical approach like 'Dear Adrianna,' or 'Hi Adrianna,' depending on the level of formality you wish to maintain.
logical structure
Your letter is generally clear and progresses logically, but could benefit from a clearer introductory sentence and smoother transitions between ideas. Try using phrases like 'Let me start with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition,' to guide the reader through your letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph generally introduces a new topic, which is good. For improvement, try ensuring that each paragraph clearly develops around a single, central idea with supporting details for better coherence.
complete response
You have addressed the main tasks but could expand on your responses to make them more complete. For example, more details on the concert (such as the genre of the music, location, or date) would enhance your response. Additionally, offering a more heartfelt and detailed explanation of why you want this friend to accompany you can make your letter more engaging and personal.
suitable writing tone
While your writing tone is mostly suitable, it fluctuates between formal and informal in ways that may not be entirely appropriate for the context. Work on maintaining a consistent tone throughout the letter. Consider if the tone is too casual or too formal and adjust accordingly based on your relationship with the recipient and the context of the letter.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite