IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have a just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write letter to your friend. In the letter: Give details about the concert Describe how you won the tickets Explain why you've chosen your friend to go with you

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Dear Adrianna Adrian How are you? Hope you are happy and enjoying your new job. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to invite you
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
concert
Use synonyms
 that, I really want to go
with
Change preposition
to with
show examples
 you. First of all, I will give you some information for you to understand better.
This
Linking Words
concert
Use synonyms
 happens once in 4 years on 29th February. Famous singers from all over the world come to the
concert
Use synonyms
. Not only famous singers, but
also
Linking Words
 famous actors and
actress
Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 allow you to take pictures with them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if you are wondering how I won the tickets, I will tell you without
further
Linking Words
 ado. Our boss organized a competition in our office. Gave all workers the same task and insisted that, whoever
finishes
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 it first
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 get a ticket to the
concert
Use synonyms
. I won the competition.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I am inviting you to the
concert
Use synonyms
. After all, you are the reason that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I work in
this
Linking Words
 job. The reason for my offer is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I have not seen you for a long time. I miss the times we spent together.
Finally
Linking Words
, Hopefully, I would love it if you could come to a
concert
Use synonyms
. Best wishes, Shaxrizoda

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greeting and closing
The greeting is a bit informal and unusual ('Dear Adrianna Adrian'), consider a simpler and more typical approach like 'Dear Adrianna,' or 'Hi Adrianna,' depending on the level of formality you wish to maintain.
logical structure
Your letter is generally clear and progresses logically, but could benefit from a clearer introductory sentence and smoother transitions between ideas. Try using phrases like 'Let me start with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition,' to guide the reader through your letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph generally introduces a new topic, which is good. For improvement, try ensuring that each paragraph clearly develops around a single, central idea with supporting details for better coherence.
complete response
You have addressed the main tasks but could expand on your responses to make them more complete. For example, more details on the concert (such as the genre of the music, location, or date) would enhance your response. Additionally, offering a more heartfelt and detailed explanation of why you want this friend to accompany you can make your letter more engaging and personal.
suitable writing tone
While your writing tone is mostly suitable, it fluctuates between formal and informal in ways that may not be entirely appropriate for the context. Work on maintaining a consistent tone throughout the letter. Consider if the tone is too casual or too formal and adjust accordingly based on your relationship with the recipient and the context of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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