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Band 5.5

Housing is essential for people. Some people argue that the government should offer free housing for peope who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #offer #peope
Lack of housing is one of the biggest concerns in
the
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apply
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today's world, affecting millions of people all across the world.
Therefore
, some individuals contend
the
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with the
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 notion that the
government
 bears the primary responsibility
in
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for
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 furnishing its citizens with accommodation. It is my contention that
although
government
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the government
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 holds the accountability to provide housing, its ability to make it free is limited in financial resources. First and foremost, as the population of earth experiences a burst in numbers, the living spaces are shrinking in volume, making it challenging to find a place to stay for many. Even the governments are falling short
on
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of
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 providing proper housing opportunities to their citizens.
Furthermore
, putting a financial burden on the shoulders of
government
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the government
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 is not an ideal way to overcome
this
 shortcoming, but to
further
 exacerbate it by diverting a majority of tax-payer money towards the construction of new houses to be later provided for free.
Such
 magnitude of expenses can immensely affect dynamics of country budget allocation,
thus
, causing other unaccounted problems to emerge. To exemplify
this
 statement, statistically, governments have to deduct all other
spendings
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spending
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 so
that
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as
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 to finance the concept of free-housing for everyone
due to
 the
high-cost
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high cost
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 of
real-estate
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real estate
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. Consequentially, I believe
this
 financing should solely be applicable to the people who need
a
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apply
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help desperately.
Moreover
, another reason why I disagree that housing should be free for citizens is
because
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that
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 it can result in
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of
Add an article
the real-estate
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real-estate
Correct your spelling
real estate
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 market, leading up to the lay-offs of
real-estate
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real estate
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 agents.
For example
, the need for rental or purchasing of houses will cease to exist once the governments decide to make accommodation costless. In conclusion, despite it is true that
Correct article usage
the government
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 are obliged to offer free houses for people who cannot afford
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them
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it
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them
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, scaling up
this
 initiative to a house
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per
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for
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per
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per-person
Correct your spelling
person
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 can literally destroy
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the economic
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economic
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the economic
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 structure of a country.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt by providing a clear position from the introduction through to the conclusion. Your position (agree/disagree) should be stated unequivocally in the introduction for a more direct task response.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more diverse and precise examples to support your arguments. Specific, real-world examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness and relevancy of your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the transition between paragraphs for smoother flow. Using a variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads into the next helps maintain coherence throughout your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revisiting your thesis statement in the conclusion to reinforce your position. A strong conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your stance, providing a clear and impactful end to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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