You are planning to go and study English at as school overseas.You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school.In you letter ask about the school say what kind of accommodation you want mention any special requests you have (for example diet)I

Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is that I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
ask about the
school
as well as
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
say
comfortable
Correct article usage
the comfortable
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accommodation
which
Change preposition
in which
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I will stay.
Firstly
,I want to know the
school
courses and system.I have heard that there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous courses and
also
unusual teaching methods.I would appreciate it if you could provide me with
further
details about the
school
.
Secondly
,I desire comfortable
accommodation
to stay and do
hometask
Correct your spelling
homework
.
Due to
this
,I want to improve my speaking skills
as well as
my other skills.
In addition
,
accommodation
full
Add a missing verb
is full
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of equipment which I will necessary.One more thing that I have to mention is that
accommodation
that
Add the comma(s)
, that
show examples
is to say, it would be nice located near the
school
.
Lastly
,I am
Correct article usage
a vegeterian
show examples
vegeterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
person so,I will need some foods which let the
vegeterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
vegetarians
eat.I think you will provide me
this
Add the preposition
with this
show examples
situation too. I am really forward to hearing from you soon and thank you for your teamwork. Best regards, Khamidov Ali.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is focused on a single idea, clearly separating your requests and inquiries about the school, the accommodation specifics, and dietary requirements. This will enhance clarity and coherence of the letter.
Task Achievement
Expand on the details of your inquiries and requests. For example, specify what aspects of the school's courses and teaching methods you're interested in, describe what constitutes 'comfortable accommodation' for you, and list specific dietary requirements. Providing more detailed information will improve the completeness of your response.
General
Work on grammar, punctuation, and sentence structuring to enhance readability and effectiveness of communication. Consider using tools or resources to practice English writing skills.
General
Maintain a polite and formal tone throughout the letter as you did well with 'Dear Sir or Madam' and 'Best regards.' This is suitable for the context and purpose of your letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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