IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, people have argued that developing countries should provide six years of free
education
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 to reduce poverty. partly agree with
this
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 point of view.  First and foremost, we should recognize that free
education
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 for at least six years is important to build children's basic knowledge and necessary
skills
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. There is no denying that it is a vital opportunity for them to be equipped with a variety of
skills
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,
such
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 as reading, writing, and using numbers. It is
also
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 the foundation for them to access higher academic
education
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. One other justification is that free
education
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 makes
education
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 more accessible. Families having financial burdens will be able to afford their children's tuition fees. Free
education
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 even provides more opportunities for girls to attend school, which not only breaks the cycle of poverty but
also
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 solves the problem of gender equality. 
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons against the statement. Primary
education
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 might not provide practical knowledge and
skills
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, especially in an industrial and modern society.
For instance
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, many jobs require applicants to have secondary and higher academic levels degrees and computer
skills
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.
In addition
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, free
education
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 requires financial support from the government. That leads to an increase in tax rates, which might affect individuals' savings and economic growth.   In conclusion, I partly support giving up to six years of free
education
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.
However
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, I believe that we should consider
this
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 issue carefully before making a final decision.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance and addresses the prompt effectively. To further improve, ensure your introduction clearly states your position and revise to avoid any missing words or errors in the opening sentence. For example, change 'partly agree' to 'I partly agree'.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate upon your examples and provide more specific evidence to strengthen your arguments. Detailed and relevant examples will provide more clarity to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the flow between paragraphs and sentences to enhance coherence. You can use more linking phrases and transitional words to improve the smoothness of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To increase logical structure, ensure that each paragraph logically follows and supports the point made previously. Use topic sentences effectively to indicate the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your overall argument.
Task Achievement
You have made good use of relevant arguments and supportive points to present a balanced view which strengthens the task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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