Many animal species are becoming extinct. Some believe countries and individuals must solve this problem, others think that human beings are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Today, the concern over the disappearance of animal species causes some people to urge definite actions from authorities and individuals.
On the other hand
, some others believe
humans
should
be concentrated
Wrong verb form
concentrate
show examples
more on their many available issues. There seem to be reasonable grounds for
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
different thinking;
however
, I would contend that if nature’s decline is ignored,
humans
will face unprecedented consequences. From an economic standpoint, the belief of putting
humans
as the top priority is somewhat true.
This
is because the investment to achieve conservation goals is usually of a substantial scale. At the same time, these funds can be allocated to deal with ongoing issues worldwide,
such
as famine, poverty, and illiteracy.
Moreover
, it would be a serious challenge to force everyone to pay attention to something unrelated to them. Some would argue that it is not their daily issue when they have to make ends meet and have the right to secure their subsistence first.
However
, if no measures are implemented to reduce the risks for endangered wildlife,
humans
may have to pay the highest price.
This
is because animals play a crucial role in maintaining the Earth’s ecosystem, which provides billions of people with life support.
For example
, the alarming decline in pollinator species,
such
as bees or butterflies, can push the world to the edge of a food crisis because these wild insects are responsible for many regions’ agricultural output.
Accordingly
,
this
issue requires the involvement of both governments and citizens.
While
nations can cooperate to strengthen laws in animal species conservation, people should
also
be aware of the impacts
this
might have on their lives and children to change their courses of action,
such
as abandoning the consumption of wild animal products. In conclusion,
although
concentrating on human necessities is common sense, nations and individuals have an urgent duty to tackle the decline in wildlife populations. It is recommended that there be attempts to assess the cost-effectiveness of conservation efforts to balance the cost of covering
humans
’ basic needs.
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a distinct purpose.
coherence
Use a wider variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
detail
Develop each main point with specific examples or evidence to support your arguments more clearly.
task response
Address the task more fully by discussing both views in depth and providing more comprehensive reasons for your own opinion.
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