SENDING CRIMINALS TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAYS TO HELP THEM. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#criminals #prison #method #education #job

Some people say that sending offenders to penitentiary is not the best solution for dealing with them, education and

job

training are better ways to help them.

This

writer disagrees with

this

statement because some ganglands are killers and in the

cofinenent

Correct your spelling

conflict

, they still learn and have

job

training. It must be understood that

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

crimes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the law breakers are felons. The homicides are very merciless, they may still kill people if they don’t be sent to the penitentiaries.

Moreover

, their offences are acute, if the government just give them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education or

job

training without sending them to the

jails

Fix the agreement mistake

jail

show examples

that is

not strict enough for their crimes.

Therefore

, they need to be sent to the prison. Another point to take into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consideration is in the

confinenents

Correct your spelling

confinements

confinement

, they still have opportunities to learn and have

job

training. In the

pernitentiaries

Correct your spelling

penitentiaries

, the offences can be taught to realize and alter their misconducts.

Furthermore

, some prisons have garment factories or wood

shopsta

Correct your spelling

shops

so that offenders can be trained in the works.

Additionally

, after being released from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail, they can integrate into the community and they may have jobs so that they won’t commit any offences again. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pernicious criminals need to be sent to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison and in it, they can learn and have training.

This

essay has shown that sending

offencesis

Correct your spelling

offenders

to prison is not the best method of dealing with them, education and

job

training are the better ways to help them is not true.

Submitted by 11E4 Community on Sun Mar 03 2024

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task achievement

Increase clarity and specificity in your arguments. While you provide examples, your essay would benefit from clearer explanations of how education and job training in prisons contribute to rehabilitation.

coherence and cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Adding more complex sentences can improve the flow of your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Revisit your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly outline your main argument and summarize your points more effectively. This will strengthen the overall logical structure of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation
Recidivism
Reintegration
Vocational training
Incarceration
Deterrent
Correctional facilities
Reformative justice
Social reentry
Ex-offender
Criminal justice system
Restorative practices
Penal system
Social marginalization

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SENDING CRIMINALS TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAYS TO HELP THEM. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Fully explain your ideas

The government should band smoking in all public places, even tough this would restrict some other people’s freedoms. Do you agree and disagree?

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

In some countries, schools are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising? What measures should be taken to protect them?