You visit a sports centre regularly, and there is a problem with the changing rooms in it. You have complained about it several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: *describe what the problem with the changing rooms is *say what happened the last time you complained *explain what you want the manager to do
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the changing
rooms
in it.
I am
regret to inform you that there is an issue with changing Unnecessary verb
apply
rooms
. Firstly
It is dreatful
and Correct your spelling
dreadful
chaos
in order to Replace the word
chaotic
staying
there. The smell of the Change the verb
stay
rooms
is disgusting. It
not only terrible but Add a verb
It is
It was
also
inadequate for changing clothes there. Although
we cleaned a lot, there
was immensely dire. Correct pronoun usage
it
Secondly
the wardrobes of the Add a comma
Secondly,
rooms
have already broken but they look like
modern.
Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
I have complained Add a comma
Furthermore,
regarding
it so many times. Change preposition
about
However
all of them did not success. Add a comma
However,
Finally
the last
time I complained about changing rooms
of
the sports centre. Change preposition
at
Then
you answered my call and suddenly put the phone down with
no reason. Change preposition
for
Therefore
I am extremely disappointed with employees
of the Correct article usage
the employees
sport
centre .
In summary, to address Change the noun form
sports
this
problem, I trust that you will change all of the rooms
as soon as possible and I will await your apologize
for your behaviour.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Replace the word
apologies
Correct the word
Yours
Your
faithfully,
Ashurov Sardor.Correct your spelling
Yours
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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Task Achievement
Your letter responds to the task's requirements. However, to improve your score, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a different aspect of the task. Your introduction can more directly reference the key issue, and each following paragraph should expand on separate points: the problem, your previous complaints, and your specific request to the manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter's structure generally follows a logical progression but sometimes feels disorganized. To enhance clarity, begin with a strong introductory sentence that specifically addresses the purpose of your letter. Follow with distinct paragraphs for each main point, using topic sentences at the start of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is mostly suitable for a formal letter but can be made more polite and professional. Phrases like 'I am regret to inform you' are a good attempt but grammatically incorrect; instead, use 'I regret to inform you'. Avoid informal or casual language in formal letters, and make sure to check your grammar and spelling to maintain a professional tone.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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