The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in the furniture industry

The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in the furniture industry
The diagram illustrates the linear process of producing
steel
rods
in the furniture industry.
Overall
,there are several stages in making
steel
rods
, commencing with raw metals being extracted from the mine, going through mechanical and metallurgical techniques to ensure the shapes,and eventually being ready for quality control.
To begin
with ,raw material is loaded in the slit after the mining extraction in order to prepare for the melting stage.During
this
step, those element is melted at high temperatures around 1300 and 1500℃. Once finished,metal which is candescent is refined in a smelting cabin,prior to being poured by a machine into ingots. At the following stage of
this
process, ingots are linked to a cooling reservoir,which is utilized for lowering
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the temperature of the metallic components.
Subsequently
,cooled metal is
casted
Correct your spelling
cast
show examples
in
strand
Fix the agreement mistake
strands
show examples
while
simultaneously rolled by rollers.Later on,
steel
rods
are heated by a machine, and surface checking takes place afterwards to measure their automation.
Finally
, after being resized by a cutter,
steel
rods
are applied
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
unique ID, ready for the inspection.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words steel, rods with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: