The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two bar charts depict the
people
born in and outside
Australia
in three different
areas
which are cities,
towns
, and rural in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 and 2010, respectively. As illustrated in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995, the percentage of
people
born outside
Australia
in both cities and rural
areas
has a significant increase
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
8 to 10%, respectively.
Nevertheless
, in
towns
, the
number
of
people
born in
Australia
is greater compared to
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
born outside
Australia
.
Similarly
, in 2010,
people
born outside
Australia
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
the highest percentage compared to
towns
and rural
areas
.
However
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population of
people
born in
Australia
in
towns
and rural
areas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
remained the same, even so, the
number
of
people
born outside
Australia
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slight decrease
Replace the word
slightly decreased
show examples
for both
towns
and rural
areas
. In conclusion, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
born outside
Australia
in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 and 2010 remain the highest of all,
while
the
number
of
people
born in and outside
Australia
in 1995
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
constantly higher than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
in both
towns
and rural
areas
.
Submitted by rajasaadmuz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, areas, towns, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!