IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe all the company decisions should be taken by the managers, whereas others think it is better to include employee while making decisions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #company #decisions #managers #employee
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It is often argued that
while
 making changes and
decisions
 for business,
employees
 should participate in meetings .
However
, others think it is all
manager
's responsibility to make all of the corporation's
decisions
 .In
this
 essay, I shall examine both arguments and state my standpoint. On the one hand , most companies allow managers
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 the
decisions
 for the companies because they are there to manage and examine each and all aspects of their work field
As a consequence
 ,they are able to understand what important changes are required for growing in positive numbers .
As a
Change preposition
A
show examples
manager
 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 has been seen that they have future achievement plans and managing responsibilities ,in terms of involving workers who do not know the plan in decision-making can hamper
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
future terms .
For instance
 ,in a car manufacturing
company
Add a comma
company,
show examples
 it is impossible to match the employee vision and the
manager
's vision .
On the other hand
,involving
employees
while
Change preposition
in
show examples
 decision-making tasks helps in certain parts.One obvious positive side is they can make inside mistakes in the technical field and customer satisfaction part .
For example
,
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
 which is
billion
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
dollar
Correct your spelling
billion-dollar
show examples
 company
there is
Verb problem
had
show examples
 only 50
employees
 when it was at its peak point,
also
 in the meetings each and all
employees
 were involved in serious
decisions
.
As a result
 , companies can grow faster with each other help. In conclusion, In my view, involving
employees
while
 making
decisions
 has a greater impact rather than
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 only with each
benefits
Change to a singular noun
benefit
show examples
both.
Submitted by eeeqwerty2 on

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task achievement
In the introduction, clearly introduce both sides of the argument and state your opinion straightforwardly to effectively set the stage for your essay.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations, to ensure coherence and enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay's structure by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly, improving the essay's overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear division between paragraphs and use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion by summarizing both views briefly and reaffirming your opinion in a clear, compelling manner to provide a satisfying closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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