Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

Humans are social animals so being surrounded by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family members gives
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of satisfaction and completion. It is believed by some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
of thought that the relationships shared by the
families
are no longer the same as there are many personal differences between them. A number of problems are associated with
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
.
This
essay would
intent
Replace the word
intend
show examples
to discuss the same
along with
effective measures to tackle
this
issue in the
subsequenet
Correct your spelling
subsequent
paragraphs. Diverse points can support the problems generated
due to
Correct article usage
the aformentioned
show examples
aformentioned phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
aforementioned phenomenon
. The principal among all is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
hectic work schedule has made people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stay busy in their lives. Since the employees have started working from
home
, their physical presence
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
ensures
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cordial bond with
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the members.
For instance
, it has been seen that after the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
pandemic, the influx in
the work from
Correct your spelling
work-from-home
show examples
home
jobs has increased significantly which has made individuals more glued to the screens and less available for their children.
Apart from
this
, the migration of youngsters is the major culprit behind
this
issue. As there is a time difference between the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries and
home
countries,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
gives international students limited hours to talk to their loved ones,
consequently
, as the years roll on, adults gradually become more private and telephonic calls with parents
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis
converts
Correct subject-verb agreement
convert
show examples
to
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
show examples
basis.
Thus
, working from
home
not only
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
distances among relationships but
also
the people migrating to other countries
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a key role. As every cloud has a silver lining,
this
predicament can be solved by taking some plausible steps. Primarily, family
get-together
Fix the agreement mistake
get-togethers
show examples
can bring distant relatives closer. The resolution of conflicts among various individuals of the
families
is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by organising social gatherings like family dinners where human beings can discuss the reasons behind their anger with other members.
Besides
this
,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
the responsibility of the head of the family to bind the folks of the family together, it should be made mandatory to have dinners together every night,
this
would allow the
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
and elders to exchange their thoughts, which in turn, would result in a cordial relationship between them.
Therefore
, the more the sharing of feelings and sorrows between different relatives, the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
disputes would originate and
this
results in
strengthening
Correct article usage
the strengthening
show examples
of the relationship.
To conclude
, it can be inferred that
although
families
are no longer closer to each other, there are solutions to
this
problem. The organisation of family feasts among close relatives
along with
some strict regulations by the family head to have suppers together at the dinner table can
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
between friends and
families
.
Submitted by navkiranji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, but consider expanding on specific examples to enhance clarity and impact. Clarify how each example directly relates to your arguments.
task achievement
Aim for more precise and varied vocabulary to clearly express ideas. Avoid repetition of phrases and seek synonyms to enhance your expression.
coherence and cohesion
You've demonstrated good structure. Strengthen your essay's flow by using more transition phrases to connect ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, refining them by succinctly summarizing your main points can add clarity and reinforce your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. It strengthens arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!